AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 8/24/2007 03:42:00 م ----- BODY:

What??

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/28/2005 05:04:00 م ----- BODY:

there's also my my flickr page.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/28/2005 12:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

I'm now owning and operating thetroubleiveseen.net

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/08/2005 07:48:00 م ----- BODY:

Someone just told me they saw me in the deleted scenes

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/27/2004 01:29:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/21/2004 01:33:00 ص ----- BODY:

Now that's some photojournalism!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/08/2004 02:45:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/02/2004 03:24:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/26/2004 01:10:00 ص ----- BODY:

Sitting across the table from me at Thanksgiving dinner today was Charles Thompson. Toronto:

Hotel Bed

Hotel Bathroom. I'll be back here. This one's from Chicago

Oh, and someone stole all my socks, underwear, and t-shirts from a laundrymat here. I had to ho to WAL-MART to replenish. Wack.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/23/2004 01:56:00 م ----- BODY:

Going from Detroit to Toronto is like crossing into Heaven

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 11/22/2004 11:56:00 م ----- BODY:

woops. I totally meant to post that to the wheelbarrow... well, as long as I'm on TTIS, here's mat lynch in chicago about a week ago:

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 11/22/2004 11:34:00 م ----- BODY:

Monarch finally has a website. We also have a practice space. I painted walls today. If you remember from back in the early days of the wheelbarrow, all I really wanted was a band, and a weekly check from the government with some mindless labor on the side. And love. Two out of three so far. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I don't like Felicity Porter, but it's not because she's a bad person. And she deserves better than Ben Covington. At the same time, however, there's noone who could be better for her than Ben. It's like, on a good day, he can see in himself everything that she sees in him, and it makes him want to be a better person. And that's what Felicity deserves, irritating though she may be: that perfect Ben Covington. Season 3 changes the theme song. I've got the harmonies to it nailed down. Monarch cover song, maybe?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/21/2004 02:52:00 ص ----- BODY:

Mac says that Detroit has a skyline, but I'm not so sure. It does have a People Mover though.

One stop on the People Mover is Times Square

it looks like this

Detroit is near Canada This is Canada

Going to Canada from Detroit is like going from New Jersey to New York. You can take a bridge

or a tunnel

I like this one

I didn't shop here

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/15/2004 06:00:00 م ----- BODY:

Mat Lynch Hotel Foxtrot

Nice Venue

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/14/2004 10:38:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/13/2004 08:11:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 11/11/2004 01:40:00 م ----- BODY:

I would be so proud of myself if I could stop hating this asshole. Congratulations Mat, may god forgive you and may the devil return your soul. -Morgan

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/11/2004 01:34:00 ص ----- BODY:

Wisminneconsinsapolis, WN

3 days, 2 pixies shows, I've yet to buy any local cheese. People here a friendly but talk funny. Except for the lady that yelled at me for making a right hand turn from the left lane. I told her that she was fat and stupid and she shut up.

Port of Milwaukee

Yeah, that's a Navigator, no 22's tho.

I'm getting paid to do this.

...and by the way

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/11/2004 07:39:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/07/2004 03:33:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/01/2004 01:59:00 ص ----- BODY:

Now I can e-mail The Trouble I've Seen and post pictures from my phone to my blog. Maybe I am a dork but, the future is amazing!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/01/2004 01:43:00 ص ----- BODY:

To make it worse, I can also call in a post to the blog. this is the lamest shit ever but, maybe the b l o g will catch on again with me.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/01/2004 12:55:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 9/22/2004 01:49:00 م ----- BODY:

Hi, I have rediscovered this blog.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 9/21/2004 01:22:00 م ----- BODY:

huh?

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 9/21/2004 10:49:00 ص ----- BODY:

TRAIL OF TEARS 2004

I just came from the procession to honor the opening of the new National Museum of the American Indian on the National Mall. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed with sadness at the sight of thousands of Native Americans marching through DC with nothing to say but, "Hey, look at me. I have feathers on my head."

Nearly every tribe in North America was represented today. They marched with flags, and the most popular flag was red, white, and blue. Smiling, waving, and laughing, they leisurely strolled across the mall. I understand that they are happy to be recognized with a museum that tells their history and culture from their own perspective. Nearly every tribe in North America helped in advising the Smithsonian Institute on what should be included in the exhibits. This is a huge step, but...

Where was the outrage? Where was the anger? Why weren't they demanding to be given back at least some of the land that was systematically stolen from them over a period of hundreds of years? I guess the few remaining Native Americans have adopted the same apathy that most Americans have become comfortable with. Let's not ask uncomfortable questions. We are at war, so we should support our government no matter what they do. Your phone is bugged for your own security. I want to see some braves on the warpath, not a cheerful parade to honor a 500 million dollar museum that was paid for in a large part by casino profits. Thousands of Native Americans are literally drunk in ditches, while their tribes donate hundreds of millions of dollars to have a building for Middle America to walk through while visiting our nation's capital. Maybe the children will have the sense to ask the questions. "Daddy, if this is was their land, why did they give it all to us?" Most likely they will run through the halls pretending to be cowboys while shooting their fingers at exhibits. Adding insult to injury: As I stood in the crowd that lined the procession across the mall, event staff walked along the edge of the crowd pleading for us to back up about 10 feet. We were standing in the way of some of the tribes that were marching. The crowd for the most part completely ignored the requests. After stealing and cheating these people out of an entire continent, we can't even give them ten feet for a parade. While this may be normal 'crowd behavior', I would think that most of the people in attendance were there out of curiosity, respect, and a desire to learn - the type of people who would get the fuck out of the way and let the procession through. Included in those ignoring the request to back up was the woman who had been standing there the whole time yelling as the different tribes passed by, "YAY, Nez Pierce! " or, "YAY, Navajo!" She seemed so happy for these people, but in her typical white mentality was still not going to give up her little speck of land that she had claimed for herself. Why not just build a little square fence around herself and defend her land with shotguns, rifles, and smallpox infected blankets? Her shouts elicited waves and laughter from the kind and gentle Natives. These were the gentle Natives that Americans like to see. In the tradition of Pocahontas, squaws and braves, chiefs and princesses marching for our amusement; making us feel good about ourselves. "Oh, look! That one is banging on a drum and chanting. He's probably saying how much he loves this country." As I turned to return to work, I smiled knowing that my 'silent but deadly' would soon bring the outrage that this 'celebration' deserved.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/21/2004 01:14:00 ص ----- BODY:

Bridgeport, CT

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 9/15/2004 02:16:00 م ----- BODY:

Blogging is so gay.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/15/2004 01:46:00 ص ----- BODY:

Someone, I forgot his name, is publishing photos just like mine in The Brooklyn Rail

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/08/2004 01:55:00 ص ----- BODY:

Greenpoint.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 8/05/2004 10:47:00 ص ----- BODY:

The NY Times exclusive report. Breakdancing has made a comeback!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/04/2004 02:56:00 ص ----- BODY:

Kent Ave.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/02/2004 01:34:00 ص ----- BODY:

Saturday I went to P.S. 1

If you are this girl, call me.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 7/20/2004 01:32:00 م ----- BODY:

Hey Matt, Why don't you write a little something about your life?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/14/2004 01:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

holy fuck

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/12/2004 09:21:00 م ----- BODY:

Astoria

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/11/2004 09:18:00 م ----- BODY:

Chinatown

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/10/2004 09:03:00 م ----- BODY:

Greenpoint

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/02/2004 08:33:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/29/2004 08:41:00 ص ----- BODY:

Chelsea

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/27/2004 10:05:00 ص ----- BODY:

saturday I ventured up onto The High Line Its pretty awesome up there.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/21/2004 02:36:00 ص ----- BODY:

Battery Park

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/21/2004 02:36:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/17/2004 11:51:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/16/2004 01:25:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/15/2004 12:46:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/12/2004 09:10:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 6/08/2004 01:14:00 م ----- BODY:

Well at least that crazy bastard (BUSH) has done one thing for me. I don't have to work Friday!!!! Wouldn't it be nice to just make up Executive Orders?

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 5/20/2004 04:17:00 م ----- BODY:

WOW! You should check out the new format for the blogger site. Pretty nice. Dashboard, what the fuck are they talking about?

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 5/07/2004 11:15:00 ص ----- BODY:

yes

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 5/05/2004 03:39:00 م ----- BODY:

I hate to continue with this political theme, but this is really important. If you have a soul, please give some money to these people!!

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 4/29/2004 10:48:00 ص ----- BODY:

The 'Bush Administration' has done it again. They are continuing the ass-raping of America. The mentally retarded farm-raised salmon will now be counted as wild salmon for the purpose of determining which species are endangered. Bush will turn our nation's rivers into the 100 yard dash at the Special Olympics!! After reading this article I took some deep breaths and donated $5 to the Kerry Campaign and signed up to volunteer. I know that John Kerry will not be as bad as 'W'.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 4/28/2004 10:21:00 ص ----- BODY:

This was posted under 'free stuff' on craigslist today. I was not surprised to find that his voice mail was full. It was worth a try though. I have a garage 3/4 full of old neon beer signs of about any flavor you can think of.I quit drinking and have no use for them all.I also have a few cases of Jack Daniels black label that must be 15 or 18 years old so it would probably qualify as blue label now.Anyone interested should call me on my cell phone at 814-371-8695 and ask for Zachary.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 4/24/2004 01:15:00 م ----- BODY:

Sex Workers' Benefit Concert Thursday April 29th @ The Pussycat Lounge, 96 Greenwich St. at Rector St. Subway: N, R, W, 1, 9 to Rector St. Doors open 8pm. $10, $5 for sex workers. Mingle with sex workers and their supporters at this fundraising benefit for PONY, a New York Sex Workers' advocacy and support organization. Entertainment includes performances by bands such as the Chickletts and Subterrain, as well as sex worker stories and art and a sexy raffle sponsored by Toys in Babeland and Tracy Quan. Call PONY if you need more information. 212 713 5678

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 4/24/2004 01:14:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/11/2004 05:03:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 4/01/2004 12:49:00 م ----- BODY:

The 22-year-old stood at a lectern, intending to plead with the politicians not to cut a program that provides jobs for the mentally retarded. But his own image on a huge television screen hanging above him captured his attention. He blinked at it through powerful bifocals and giggled, as if to say: Is that me? On TV? -from today's Washington Post

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/21/2004 11:45:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/17/2004 02:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/13/2004 10:00:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 3/11/2004 01:41:00 م ----- BODY:

Check out the NEW ISSUE of Sit and Spin Magazine.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/09/2004 11:55:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/08/2004 11:11:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/06/2004 01:12:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/05/2004 01:47:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/04/2004 12:25:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/03/2004 12:03:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/02/2004 12:42:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/29/2004 11:05:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/26/2004 12:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

I just cleaned a bunch of crap out of my inbox. I feel like a new man.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/09/2004 11:53:00 م ----- BODY:

where I know the senders of the last 25 emails in my inbox from Eastchester, NY - 5 AA - 6 Post Collegate California years - 4 New York - 5 College - 4 spam - 1 A pretty even distribution

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/04/2004 11:28:00 م ----- BODY:

I think everything's going to be OK.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/23/2003 11:48:00 م ----- BODY:

L train to Brooklyn 11:40pm Black guy walks into the car and says, "Sorry to bother you folks at this late hour, but I'm having a dilemma. My white girlfriend just broke up with me and I'm looking for a white girl. Does anybody know a white girl who likes black guys?" Silence. "Does anybody know a white girl who likes black guys?" Silence. "Anybody know someone who knows a white girl that likes black guys?" Silence. "I dont want anybody to think its for any bad reasons, I'm from Panama and i'm just trying to get my papers in order." Silence. "Nobody knows a white girl who likes black guys?" Silence. Black guy walks into the next car. Giggles.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 12/06/2003 02:06:00 م ----- BODY:

Mat's German is really improving.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/05/2003 12:36:00 ص ----- BODY:

Lou Reed gˆr en "unplugged" pÂ detta album som ‰r inspelat under en konsert i Royal Festival Hall i London fˆrra Âret. Halvgamla favoriter som Coney Island Baby och Vicious samsas med nyskrivet material frÂn scenproduktionen Timerocker. Trummor och bas fÂr hÂlla sig i bakgrunden medan Lou Reed ber‰ttar sina historier om udda personer pÂ skuggsidan. Lika uttrÂkad som vanligt, kan man s‰ga. Fˆr det ‰r sÂdan han ‰r. Vilket gˆr ett helt album som detta r‰tt trÂkigt ocksÂ om man inte sk‰rper sig och lyssnar pÂ texterna.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 12/04/2003 02:25:00 م ----- BODY:

I might as well share another favorite site while I'm at it. Terminator fans may notice that skynet is up and running!!!!

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 12/04/2003 11:05:00 ص ----- BODY:

I now have a second favorite site to read. It is the first openly gay publication that I have openly enjoyed gayly. I can't wait to read tomorrow's issue. In the meantime I will sit back and enoy the buckets of horse jizz.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/03/2003 11:08:00 م ----- BODY:

It's On! Nice work Bry.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/30/2003 03:27:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 11/28/2003 04:04:00 م ----- BODY:

I truly am bored. I think I am the only non-communist that is stuck at work today. I was browsing through the archives and found a post that made me really think. Here it is: If you have any faith in democracy at all you should write your local congressman and tell him that Mayday should be a national holiday. As well as Alcoholiday which comes every Friday, many mondays, and just about whenever else you want it to griped Mat Lynch at 16:01 got something to say about it? [edit] Mat, Alcoholiday? I guess we have all grown and changed since May 1, 2001, but it seems like an eternity since you would have written those words. Other noteworthy posts include 9/12/2001 and that unforgettable day in March of 2002 when BSQ came out to the world via trouble.blogspot.com

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/26/2003 12:08:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/22/2003 06:27:00 م ----- BODY:

Jon, do tell

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/02/2003 10:40:00 ص ----- BODY:

Dude, I'm totally up $615 in cell phone Blackjack!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/27/2003 11:19:00 م ----- BODY:

Hey o, the bullshit keeps piling higher and higher, I've got rubber boots that come up to my waist. That makes things pretty good.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/10/2003 08:40:00 ص ----- BODY:

I swear to god, I'll cut your throat.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/08/2003 12:01:00 ص ----- BODY:

I could swear there was something I meant to do with my life, I just can't remember what it was. But then again maybe not. Kill people and suck their blood?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/04/2003 01:29:00 ص ----- BODY:

Let me tell you about all those sons of bitches out there. They walk around acting they dont know that I know what they're up to. But I can smell them a mile away.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 10/03/2003 06:45:00 م ----- BODY:

liar!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/02/2003 10:24:00 م ----- BODY:

I'm on line again at home for the first time in a long time. Expect a lot.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/20/2003 01:31:00 م ----- BODY:

Yesterday I bought some funk 45's and was reborn. I blew it and didnt get to the !!! DANCE PARTY @ the Mercury Lounge. On the other hand I have begun running the park again and I've got my motorbike back and I'm getting paid to push a button. Birthday next week, looing to come away with a digital camera and an iPod. and FINALLY!!! LIGHTNING BOLT! Aug. 31!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/04/2003 03:48:00 م ----- BODY:

Fuck you Friendster!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/25/2003 05:44:00 م ----- BODY:

Today I embarked into friendster hell. Fuck. My ankle is purple due to a skateboarding accident. I'm limping around town like a jerk. Ouch.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/18/2003 12:44:00 م ----- BODY:

The Postal Service is like Hitchcock's murderous gays, you hate them but they're just so damn manipulative.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/11/2003 03:13:00 م ----- BODY:

Well I've done it now I've gone and moved to the (un)coolest place on earth, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Of coarse I'm not really into the whole Williamsburg scene, I just like it because its close to the city. While the move may have upped my cred with the world at large, I've been decidely zeroed by my Park Slope people. But hey, you know what I say, fuck everybody. In Williamsburg and Park Slope, and certainly those in the city proper. I'm proud to say I had a hand in the Wheelbarrow move-out party, as far as I'm concerned there was no animosity, just good clean fun.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/18/2003 11:08:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/15/2003 11:06:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/13/2003 09:53:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/12/2003 11:21:00 ص ----- BODY:

The Current State of Affairs Seeing red, tasting blood. Need to just lay in the grass. Self absorbtion levels are high but I'm sure they can go higher. My new neighborhood is great, you can buy crack from teenagers 24hrs a day, too bad I'll be leaving soon. In recent months I've been hearing all kinds of rumblings from people around me. Something about our country's president and a war. I don't really know what any of them are talking about, but I wish they'd just shut up, if you're going to keep me awake, dont put me to sleep.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/08/2003 11:39:00 م ----- BODY:

Luther Vandross had a stroke.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/21/2003 12:17:00 ص ----- BODY:

Ah Shannyn where are you now? I'll be walking around NYC all summer, try and bump into me.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 4/09/2003 03:53:00 م ----- BODY:

It sounds like that book might be rather relevant to my life right now. I just might check it out. How clever to use such blatant juxtaposition. Or is it an oxymoron? So b to the q returns from the wheelbarrow to criticize my spelling. MastErbating is actually a very subtle pun. If you don't get it, I guess you just don't get it. Only the original Law and Order is of any worth. That one with Vincent D'Onofrio is quit 'gay'. Sorry gay people. No luck yet on the 'girlfriend'. I noticed that Bryan is doing quite well with his love-interest. If he were perhaps a successful cardiologist who competes in triathlons in his spare time he would have a chance. I hate those super-motivated people. I guess I shouldn't say that. I would like to sleep with one of them some day. So motherfucking tired today...............this weather sucks. Whether or not it is spring is irrelevant.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/07/2003 11:12:00 م ----- BODY:

Snow in Spring = Total Bullshit

I read a bunch of this book today. I'll read the rest when I get a chance. Fitch, Quinn, you guys should read it. Takes place in MD.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/03/2003 10:45:00 ص ----- BODY:

ummm... which law and order? aren't there like 4 now? I watched that a couple months ago and it was TURRible. Everyone should destroy their television, I think. In fact I think I'm going to hide the antenna to ours so Donovan can't watch any more Seinfeld or reality TV. Also it's mastUrbating; someone who does it as much as you should know how to spell it correctly.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 4/02/2003 03:15:00 م ----- BODY:

I've been inspired by Mat's dedication. Way to go! Two days in a row! And yes, everybody is crazy. Once you know that, everything else makes a little more sense. Spring is in the air. Well at least for today it is. It makes me realize that I need a fuck-buddy. Hell, I'd even settle for a girlfriend. Any volunteers? This is the time of year for doing it outside, spontaneous erections, and masterbating while driving. Not necessarily in that order. I agree that TV sucks for the most part, but I'm still a sucker for Law and Order. I hope you're feeling better Mat, and I hope it isn't that SARS thing.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/01/2003 08:27:00 م ----- BODY:

Nine Things 1. I'm sick. 2. Primetime TV totally sucks. 3. There's alot of crazy people out there. 4. Why do I get all these emails from people wanting to help me get out of debt? Maybe I like being in debt. 5. I heard Lightning Bolt on the radio last night and it was awesome. 6. Still no Lightning Bolt dates on the Load site. 7. Rosey is coming to town this weekend. 8. Its getting really close to motorcycle season. 9.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/31/2003 01:21:00 ص ----- BODY:

Has it ever occurred to you that everybody, all the people in the world, assuming that they ever had them in the first place, has by now completely lost their minds. I'm reminded how I think Kurt Vonnegut is a really great author. Oh yeah, I dont care what your position is, if you think you're right, you're a idiot.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/19/2003 11:28:00 م ----- BODY:

who gives a fuck about politics? not me, but, Fuck the War

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/15/2003 10:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

Where in the world is Mat Lynch?

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 3/11/2003 04:48:00 م ----- BODY:

I had a dream about Mat's cousin last night. Not Trainor or Kevin, but the very attractive female one. Oh it was an amazing dream. She was wearing nothing but a black plastic raincoat and she just couldn't seem to keep it closed. Anyway, I guess this is kind of stupid since Mat will be the only one to read this.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/05/2003 11:10:00 م ----- BODY:

Today I crossed paths with Patricia Arquette on Houston St. She's a fox. I gave her a smile. She returned it. By the way, do you live in New York? Today was a wonderful day, despite the fact that I revisited commuter hell, Grand Central Station and the Times Square shuttle in the 9am hour. Some really scary stuff. I cant imagine how some people do it every day.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 3/05/2003 04:17:00 م ----- BODY:

Please don't talk to me any more!!!! I can't believe this woman keeps talking to me. I'm sending her a very strong mental message to shut the fuck up and leave me alone, but I guess her telepathy is as retarded as she is. I'm working at the garage that repairs all the cop cars for Montgomery County, MD. It sucks! Every five minutes my heart starts racing as a siren sounds in the building. And this woman! She is talking to me as I type. "Blah blah blah," she says. "Oh. hmm. sure....right.....", I respond. One of us has got to go.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/25/2003 01:51:00 م ----- BODY:

Why do I have such a hard time getting rid of old clothes and shoes? Dont know really, doesnt matter. Moving time has come and not everything can go. Even though I've taken pains in the past to lug all my shit from coast to coast, this time I just cannnot be bothered. Things must go. So, Grey Carhartt, I know you've still got years of service in you even though you're torn and yellowed, but I must lay you to rest. You've served me well through college and after, some rough years indeed, and I am greatful. But its time to move on. Nothing lasts forever and I'd like to keepp the memories the way they are, fond. I think you'd agree. I hope you wont hold it against me. I'll miss you.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/20/2003 06:19:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/17/2003 12:25:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/15/2003 10:46:00 ص ----- BODY:

Further and Further Towards the Middle I will not be riled I think maybe you're kidding yourself if you think anything means anything and that action has consequence. I woke this morning to my roommates (all 3 of them) readying themselves for the anti-war rally near the UN today. I dismissed the rally as lame. Then later thought that maybe I was wrong and that the rally was necessary. Then I realized that I wasnt so much wrong as, well, just off. Every arguement has opposing sides and are as necessary as night and day. Its the way things; go the doves and the hawks will always be, but I really dont think there's any difference which side you're on. I dontthink critical mass on either side has anything to do with what happens. Its better to be amused. Back to work. I'm delerious, does it show?

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 2/14/2003 09:24:00 ص ----- BODY:

This is only the second time i've ever posted anything to this blog. I'm sitting here waiting for a 164 page sensetive document to finish printing. So Mat quit smoking again.....interesting. It is ironic that i am working at the Department of Energy, and all i want to do is go to sleep. One of the fascinatating e-mails that i receive here just informed me that 64% of americans do not know that dinosaurs died before humans evolved. And 50% of americans do not know that the earth revolves around the sun. i am not feeling any flow....i think i'll mess with my boss' calendar. hmmm.....next tuesday...3:00pm... remember to poop under my desk. So today is Valentine's Day. The day when Saint Valentine walked down from the mountain and told all the men to buy stupid shit for women. If it wasn't for the bitches on his side and bitches on his back, no one would have listened. And now to this day, thousands of people salute his famous walk down from the mountain by taking their girlfriends out for dinner with the hope that the bitch will get drunk and be unusually open-minded about a BJ. I realize this is rather crass, but i hate this silly day!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/13/2003 02:10:00 ص ----- BODY:

Life is hectic.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/11/2003 12:24:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/10/2003 11:10:00 م ----- BODY:

No smokes, day 4. I'm surprisingly jolly, but dont test me, I might puncture your eyeballs.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/06/2003 12:03:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/04/2003 10:08:00 م ----- BODY:

That gay dude that stands outside our window finally worked up the nerve to try and contact Bryan. Bravo!

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/04/2003 01:20:00 م ----- BODY:

Words such as “intends,” believes” and similar expressions reflecting something other than historical fact allow us to adhere to less than 1% of the previous statement...

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/04/2003 12:51:00 م ----- BODY:

Company memos amuse me on a daily basis: Generic Employee has decided to leave the company to pursue other interests. Because of the sensitive nature of this position which entails high levels of security to our systems, we have determined it is in everyone's best interest for his departure to be effective immediately. We wish XYZ the best in all his future endeavors.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/03/2003 11:35:00 م ----- BODY:

Since today is Feb 3 that means there are 25 days till Ben Ben comes home to NY.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/02/2003 02:51:00 ص ----- BODY:

Take it from a guy who's taken alot of drugs in his time, this is some serious shit.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 1/30/2003 11:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

The Mouse That Roared is a great film. But Breathless really does suck balls at times. The remake with Richard Gear however is truly a powerfully advantageous embarking into the endless metatextual and hyperphysiological abstraction of drama in an all too often overly ethnocentric cinema world.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/30/2003 10:59:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/29/2003 12:19:00 م ----- BODY:

I think I just fell in love. Too bad she's been dead over 20 years. Jean Seberg (1938-1979)

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/28/2003 12:32:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/26/2003 01:18:00 ص ----- BODY:

Old Man East River is kinda icy

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/22/2003 09:56:00 ص ----- BODY:

Looks cold out there, dont think I'll go out.

Still life at home. Somebody shit on Santa Cruz.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/21/2003 11:12:00 م ----- BODY:

Wow! Its fucking cold out there. "How cold is it?", you might ask.. I'll tell you, its so cold that when I'm walking down the street these days and what I think might be a cute girl comes walking in the other direction, I dont even slow down or even look up to check her out. Now if you know me, and are framiliar with my obsession with the beauty of beatiful females, you will know that this means that it is cold out there. If anyone wants to give me $300 so I can go visit my friends in LA and get warm for a week or so, I am accepting donations. Any pictures that may follow in the next couple of days will be from the inside of my apartment. I do not plan on leaving until I really have to.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/18/2003 04:08:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/17/2003 12:10:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/16/2003 12:34:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/15/2003 01:01:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/14/2003 12:29:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/13/2003 11:33:00 م ----- BODY:

Monday came and went.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/10/2003 12:26:00 م ----- BODY:

Life is funny. After almost 26.5 years on this planet, I still havent figured it out. Wonder if I'll ever stop trying. Maybe I'll stop today. New Year's resolution maybe. I really think that If I ever sis figure it out the only thing I'd figure out is that there is nothing figure out; that Life is nothing more than a game. And you know what? That's great, I don't think I'd have it any other way. Wheelbarrow's Ode to Joy is a wonderful thing. I know the feeling. Reminds me of most every day that I've had since I quit my office job and got the fuck off the internet. Wheelbarrow's Ode has inspired me: Ode to People Who Take Themselves Seriously You're wasting your time and energy. It could be spent on other things. Like making fun of eople who take themselves seriously.

Spare a match?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/09/2003 02:15:00 ص ----- BODY:

Oh Yeah

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/08/2003 12:24:00 م ----- BODY:

water pressure at my place. Hey, if you get bored, just play with the turretaphone

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/06/2003 11:26:00 م ----- BODY:

Oh, Santa Cruz. Sigh...

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/05/2003 11:44:00 م ----- BODY:

Anxiously awaiting the 107th to see what up with my money

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/04/2003 11:17:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/03/2003 02:14:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 1/02/2003 01:08:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/30/2002 05:35:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/28/2002 04:39:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/27/2002 04:20:00 م ----- BODY:

Be quiet, be very very quiet. Got this book for Christmas. Its pretty great. Thanks Greg.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/24/2002 10:21:00 م ----- BODY:

Christmas Eve Grand Central Station

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/23/2002 10:24:00 م ----- BODY:

Today I placed my first bet at OTB. I watched the tv like this guy. I didnt win.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/22/2002 04:12:00 م ----- BODY:

That's a wrap. Next up: Christmas.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/19/2002 03:01:00 ص ----- BODY:

This morning I wrote the check for the rent, addressed the envelope and stamped it, then put it somewhere. I have no idea where. The rent is lost somewhere in this apartment.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 12/17/2002 11:48:00 م ----- BODY:

Beth Rosen-Prinz(A.K.A. KITT) posting under Morgan Strauss' name:

Michael? I don't think that's a good Idea Michael. Michael?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/16/2002 10:51:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/15/2002 03:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

Saturday I drove a Police car for the movie.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 12/14/2002 11:20:00 م ----- BODY:

Hey everyone, just thinking of the taste of dirty, mexican Cocaine. It's just one of those tastes, like pussy or nerds, that you will never leave you, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that the taste and the activities associated with it are all overrated. There was just that warm comfort of a kind of Vic’s Vapor rub warmth in my sinus cavity and in my lungs. I wish I new how make Cocaine, then I would never have a problem. If you or anybody you know knows how to make large quantities of Cocaine you might not want to use the internet, talk on a mobile phone, broadcast over the air waves, take long showers, sleep with the lights on, travel by day or by gasoline in steel drums, you might want to consider moving to South America and stop wasting my time.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/13/2002 12:41:00 ص ----- BODY:

Look, someone snapped a pic at the Lightning Bolt show at Irving Plaza last week. That's me behind the guy in the green jacket. Answer me this: how the fuck did that lady get in there? She looks happy.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/12/2002 12:30:00 ص ----- BODY:

Today (the longest day ever) I was the boom operator.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/10/2002 10:43:00 م ----- BODY:

The cataonic woman that sometimes finds herself hanging on 4th Ave @ 9th st. You may have seen her yourself. She is never moving, as in this pcture. You always think she's about to fall over, but she doesnt. Once I saw her move- she snuck through the gate at the subway and the woman in the booth yelled, "Pay your fare!". But didnt do anything to stop her. Today I found a book, an anthology of parodoxes.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/09/2002 12:58:00 ص ----- BODY:

Guess who.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/08/2002 01:50:00 م ----- BODY:

Snow falls and then snow melts.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/06/2002 10:06:00 م ----- BODY:

can people hear the music on this site?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/05/2002 09:41:00 م ----- BODY:

Well, I guess it didnt come out so well but I was trying to take a picture to show how wet my shoes were from a day of making the movie upstate in 8 or so inches of snow. Cold but awesome.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 12/04/2002 04:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

Hey, I figured out how to post here again. Hooray! Now I can start posting pictures of people's genitals like I always wanted to. The west coast chapter of the trouble has its own office now, it's called "R!OT Pictures." It's kind of a wierd office; great kitchen, nice furniture, but the other people who lease the space keep asking us to do these really mundane chores for them all day; it's wierd. I have been listening to City of Caterpillar lateley, and I'm thinking they should change thier name to "Shitty" of Caterpillar. Actually, no, "City" sounds much better. Besides, I like thier mix of math, Mogwai, and hardcore;it's very refreshing. Wish I could have seen Sonic Youth/Lightning Bolt (don't care about Black Dice) but then again I had a project to work on in school and New York's a little far away to commute.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/04/2002 01:25:00 ص ----- BODY:

Tues Dec 03. Coldest day of the year.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 12/03/2002 08:03:00 م ----- BODY:

It's a Beatles song, right?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/02/2002 10:26:00 م ----- BODY:

Its just too horrible. I cant talk about it. And a picture would be shameful.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 12/01/2002 09:33:00 م ----- BODY:

You bet your sweet ass I made it into Irving Plaza to see Black Dice/Sonic Youth/Lightning Bolt (in that order) last night. Someone yelled, "Write a song!" at Black Dice I thought it was apropos. They have their moments though. Watching Sonic Youth while waiting for Lightning Bolt is like smoking pot when you could be mainlineing cocaine. Good pot, dont get me wrong, but... just..., well if you've seen Lightning Bolt or mainlined cocaine you know what I mean.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/29/2002 01:55:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/28/2002 11:17:00 م ----- BODY:

Home for the holiday.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/26/2002 11:29:00 م ----- BODY:

Tomorrow I sleep.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/25/2002 12:30:00 ص ----- BODY:

So this short that I've been PAing on just wrapped. I thinks its going to be good. I think its going to be funny. They say that a big part of being a good photographer is shooting alot. Shoot all the time. That part I'm not so good at. I never have the camera on me when I should. Like today. I called two friends of mine when the production was in a pinch for extras. Quinn of Wheelbarrow fame and Carrick showed up. I must say it was alot of fun for me two watch these guys work. Both delivered their lines with a knowhow that suggested years of experience. Bravo. But alas, no pics of the boys in action. Funny stuff that we'll have to wait till final cut to see. In a week onto the next feature.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/21/2002 08:36:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/20/2002 11:07:00 م ----- BODY:

Today I got to be in my second movie. This time I even had a line: "Thanks, Man" I totally nailed it. Also. I really need to be at Irving Plaza on the 30th of this month. Can anybody help me out? I'm very serious. 10 days left.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/18/2002 01:17:00 م ----- BODY:

Hiatus while updating the OS. Now onto the big internship. Reading a script now. I'll let you know how it goes.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/13/2002 10:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/12/2002 04:40:00 م ----- BODY:

Wheelbarrow strikes again.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/11/2002 11:57:00 م ----- BODY:

Asbury Park just became alot more attractive to The Wheelbarrow. Tell Wheelbarrow he should just drop the money on the powerbook. Enough of this pussyfooting. Round Things Roll rolls out of town in the morning. Its a damn fucking shame. I did manage a short and near weekend getaway that produced some fall foliage pics but they were lost due to camera malfunction. Trust me it looks nice. What remains and what will come is some shit snapped today in Asbury Park, NJ. A place you never really need to go to.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/09/2002 09:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/08/2002 11:52:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/07/2002 05:34:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/06/2002 08:32:00 م ----- BODY:

Now I've arrived.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/03/2002 01:33:00 م ----- BODY:

Winners or Lunatics?

The NYC Marathon came down 4th Ave in Brooklyn earlier today.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 11/01/2002 03:09:00 م ----- BODY:

How do my glands look? Cause they still feel like shit.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 10/30/2002 10:54:00 م ----- BODY:

Man, wouldn't it be great if roaches had some monetary value? Then we could sell the roaches to pay for fixing the ceiling, since the landlord obviously isn't going to do it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/30/2002 01:08:00 م ----- BODY:

I almost didnt shower today. There didnt seem to be any point. But then I did and now I feel good. If you are ever down and feeling blue just smile and be glad that the sink at your place doesnt look like the sink at my place.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/29/2002 10:58:00 م ----- BODY:

Its not like me to hate on anyone but I will be happy when Kinkos sees its demise.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/28/2002 06:41:00 م ----- BODY:

Morphine Gas?! I wish they used that shit on me. Maybe not so much though.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/28/2002 05:49:00 م ----- BODY:

I'm sick and cranky so dont fuck with me, but wish me luck.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/25/2002 03:44:00 ص ----- BODY:

Try this. or this. Better have Quicktime 6.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/24/2002 01:44:00 م ----- BODY:

Word. the digital camera fund finally got it's first donation. $5.00. Thing is, I cant seem to get the money from paypal. I hope the loot doesnt stay in ciberlimbo forever. Tonight cousin Brian/roommate boards private plane bound for Augusta, Georgia with Carson Daly. There's got to be an angle for me in there. What can Carson do for me?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/23/2002 04:27:00 م ----- BODY:

Fuck Yeah! I'm interviewing at Crew Cuts on tues.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/22/2002 01:29:00 ص ----- BODY:

The Wheelbarrow at its best.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/21/2002 11:45:00 ص ----- BODY:

Last night I stepped into a vortex. I thought I stepped out but maybe I didn't. I've now got the sensation that I'm moving backwards in time.

By day and by night.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/19/2002 02:48:00 م ----- BODY:

Scheduling difficulties result in a day off. Maybe I'll go join my block's party.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/18/2002 02:11:00 ص ----- BODY:

This is a gothic for Ben

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/16/2002 02:51:00 ص ----- BODY:

Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday. then the movie is over, most likely I'll be seeing Punch-Drunk Love. Help! I live in Joe's Apartment.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 10/15/2002 07:28:00 ص ----- BODY:

Look Bitches, I just wanted to drop a line from all the west koast killaz. We think you cheese toast faggots ought to check yo'selves before talking shit about our erstwhile place of employment. No, it didn't burn down. See, it turns out that all three of us have jobs, and two of us work for a living. Not like you pussy asses who make student films (4 years after being a student, at least) and kill roaches in your basement. Anyhow, don't have a heart attack, we're still here, and Mat, yes I remember my blog. I'm too lazy to make a link, and it's not worth looking at. Otherwise, the Rosen-Prinz of romance is working on a new (old) relationship and progressing beautifully, thank you. Morgan and Mike are tools. I'm out.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/13/2002 05:17:00 م ----- BODY:

Day 13 of 18 and the last week of production for "Distress" begin tomorrow. I think I'm gonna make it. Somebody better hire me after this is through.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 10/12/2002 12:24:00 ص ----- BODY:

but mostly because I just coined the word "enrectulated"

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 10/12/2002 12:24:00 ص ----- BODY:

I've ceased to amuse even myself. ...ok, i'm exaggerating. i still amuse myself.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 10/12/2002 12:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

Missing Persons Report Missing: Mathew W. Lynch, age 26. Last seen : stroking it, thumb fully enrectulated, 138 15th St. Brooklyn. Date: approx. 4 days ago Possible whereabouts: stuck on SoHo roof, impaled on prop spike; stuck in Chelsea Hotel suite, impaled on tranny hobo cock. Please contact Wheelbarrow with any information. There is a 3-rimmer reward leading to the release and recovery of Lynch (reward to be delivered by Strauss, Mitchell, Rosen-Prinz).

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/11/2002 02:06:00 ص ----- BODY:

I'm fucking working on it, allright? Right now all I have time to do is read The Wheelbarrow and Roundthingsroll and watch 5 minutes of Bottle Rocket before I fall asleep.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 10/10/2002 01:33:00 م ----- BODY:

You may already be aware of this, but Mat has had a plan for several years to someday open a sex shoppe called "Mat's Dildos 'n' Things". I'm going to open one up across the street, just to be annoying. I'm going to call it "the New York Cock Exchange".

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/10/2002 01:50:00 ص ----- BODY:

So I've been working on this movie shoot on the roof of 1 Centre st. Great view and I keep forgetting my camera. Today I remembered it. And I got lots of great pictures of buildings. But they'll have to wait cause I also got this one

Yep, that's me. Today I got to be in the movie. A very crucial role as the dead guy hanging in the shed. I was brilliant.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 10/07/2002 11:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

fascinating. where the hell is the left coast, the west-side riders? Did that post house they all polish knobs at burn down or something?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/06/2002 04:37:00 م ----- BODY:

There's a plant down the bottom of Vinegar Hill. I didnt go there today, but I've been there before.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/04/2002 10:19:00 م ----- BODY:

ouch

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/03/2002 08:39:00 م ----- BODY:

Fuck. Day 4 or 18 of shooting for "Distress" and I think I'm dead. they shot the rooftop sex scene today but they cleared the set, lowly PA's like myself were not allowed. Yeah, I think I'm dead. If I'm not dead, I've got a real conflict of interest on October 31. Beck/Flaming Lips at the Beacon, Black Heart Procession/Blonde Redhead/!!!/Yeah Yeah Yeahs at Iving Plaza. I'll worry about it later.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 10/02/2002 09:00:00 م ----- BODY:

Um, I'm tired. really tired. Today I did the slateing. It was good. Too sunny up on the roof. Cant wait for a day off, there are alot of pictures I want to take.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 9/29/2002 11:37:00 م ----- BODY:

Actually, I can help with that. The working title for the film is Bryan does Brooklyn. Mat's job: lead fluffer.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/29/2002 05:45:00 م ----- BODY:

Tomorrow at 5am I go to work on a movie. No, dont know what its called. No, I know who the director is. No, I dont know who's in it. Yes I'm looking foward to it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/27/2002 02:05:00 م ----- BODY:

When it rains it pours. This morning I was woken by a call from a place wanting to interview me for an intership. Then I went on the interview. I got home and there was a reply from another place about an internship in Soho that would be much cooler then the one I just got back from in Herald Square. That and what might be a good tip from a friend. We'll see what happens. I might spend the fall in Soho or I might be peeling potatos in Williamsburg. Either way I gots the new shoes and I'll be running in them

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/26/2002 01:00:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 9/25/2002 09:43:00 م ----- BODY:

Now its time for TTIS's horribly ugly post-adolescence.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/25/2002 12:36:00 ص ----- BODY:

So I got my grubby litle hands on an iPod for a day and Its no secret that I find myself infinately funny and amusing. You'd be sure to agree if you saw me all alone late at night dance-walking down 5th Avenue while listening to "The Humpty Dance". also I dont smoke crack anymore but I do watch the current season the "The Real World". The feeling afterward is frightenly similar Peace and Humptiness forever

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/24/2002 02:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

hopefully The Trouble I've Seen's horribly ugly pre-adolescence is over. Alot of shit got done today. Cleaning-wise that is, Job-wise not so much.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/23/2002 12:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

I hang out with these guys

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/22/2002 09:12:00 ص ----- BODY:

well, I'm a bit late but I've got to go catch up with BenBen and the rest of them. Give me a call if you're into it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/20/2002 10:37:00 ص ----- BODY:

Looking a bit older, Jennie Garth returns to television tonight.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/19/2002 05:34:00 م ----- BODY:

F train to Bryant Park

Around to the backstage entrance of the tent

to where the girls are Why I cant get inside the tent for this I dont know. Next year: press credentials

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/18/2002 07:01:00 م ----- BODY:

Please excuse my unexpected haitus. I promise to return tomorrow with coverage of fashion week from Bryant Park.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 9/18/2002 12:27:00 م ----- BODY:

Hi! How've you been? Just thought I'd drop by. Things I Was Planning to Do While Collecting Unemployment -Complete an internship at a recording studio or small record label -Volunteer at a soup kitchen/homeless advocacy non-profit -Exercise (including push-ups, sit-ups, running) -Walk dogs at the shelter -Floss regularly -Get my band together -Break my personal one-day record -Write something, try to sell it -Steal Mat's stuff, put it in storage, pretend it was a robbery

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/13/2002 11:30:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/12/2002 05:58:00 م ----- BODY:

yes. this page is under construction. yes. i could use some help.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/12/2002 05:37:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/11/2002 04:47:00 م ----- BODY:

Its not everyday you run into one of these. I might have had a few in a previous life. If you want to see the artifact in person check out the abandoned factory on the river side of the Yonkers train station. Trespassers beware!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/10/2002 10:30:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 9/09/2002 02:40:00 م ----- BODY:

By the way, I hope every one notices the textbook example of the 10 and 2 driving technique in my picture. Also, my Jetta is now officially for sale. I'm only asking $9000.

-------- AUTHOR: jonathan DATE: 9/09/2002 02:26:00 م ----- BODY:

I'd like to thank the good people at GlaxoSmithKline, and the ALZA Corporation for manufacturing NicoDerm CQ. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. "If you can keep your head while all others about you are losing thiers....."-I believe that was Kipling.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/09/2002 11:08:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/08/2002 11:40:00 م ----- BODY:

Sunday

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/06/2002 12:48:00 ص ----- BODY:

Did I mention that if you look at page 228 of this book you will see a picture taken on September 11, 2001 of me (and others, mostly a picture of people and I am one of the people) running from a falling building.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/05/2002 02:11:00 م ----- BODY:

Last night I met a girl in a bar who asked me if I wanted to be a cameraman. I said I did. I wonder if she'll take me up on it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 9/04/2002 12:56:00 ص ----- BODY:

This post pertains to Tues There was no rain today, I'm glad for that. Even so I took the train to the hospital and the motorcycle stayed at home. The hot water came back and I'm glad for that. Even so, I didnt take a shower. Some things you just have no control over, and even tho I think that's bullshit it doesnt change the fact that I've no control over them. In this case I'm referring to Round Things Roll ending. I have not smoked a single cigarette since May '02. I figure if I have to go through it I'm going to put you through it too. Unless of course I go back to smoking, then forget I ever said anything. Anyway you really screwed yourself good if you missed Lightning Bolt last saturday. If anyone who happens to read this and has any audio and/or video from that it would be super great if I could get a copy.

Oh, listen, by the way, I'm going to be putting myself into storage until all this shit (the next 40 years or so, when I become a man and have a family and career, do my life's work, etc) blows over. Get back to me then. I'll be sitting on the porch watching the world go by, not really caring.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/31/2002 10:40:00 ص ----- BODY:

Sell me a flame thrower, I'll fucking throw flames!

I've had it up to here. I just cant be bothered with the filth and indignity anymore. I'm moving to the Upper East Side. Everything will be ordered in. Thank god for Lightning Bolt/!!! at the block party later today. ((())) In any case, The Deer Hunter is the mutherfucking shit.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/27/2002 12:09:00 م ----- BODY:

I'm going back to my East End office to conduct some business. I will be unavailable until my return. Dont fuck anything up while I'm gone. In the meantime

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 8/22/2002 02:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

YOU HAVE TO LET THIS PLAY WHILE YOU DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE DOING ON YOUR COMPUTER--YOU CANNOT NOT LISTEN TO THIS.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/20/2002 12:45:00 م ----- BODY:

And you people think I've been getting nothing done while I'm unemployed. Today I accomplished the live audio video feed via the internet. send me your IP address and I'll show you live scenes from my bedroom. be sure to load the quicktime player 6. www.quicktime.com

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 8/19/2002 07:55:00 م ----- BODY:

Well, when my friend Mark died last year, I was the one who got to tell all of his friends. So, don't worry Mat. I'll be there for you too.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/19/2002 02:57:00 م ----- BODY:

Sometimes I wonder if I die how all the people will find out. I mean how does word get around? Who tells who?

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 8/15/2002 07:34:00 م ----- BODY:

It is a common misconception that all Californians appreciate the eyesore that is the Getty Center.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/14/2002 09:35:00 ص ----- BODY:

LA was dope! Even caught a Lightning bolt show. The Getty Center might be one of the coolest places on earth.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/07/2002 10:10:00 ص ----- BODY:

Holy fuck! Yesterday I saw it. It was dope, beats the fuck out of those stupid silver scooters every numbskull has. The postmen in City Island have 'em. City Island is dope too.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 8/06/2002 11:50:00 ص ----- BODY:

Guess who I saw last night at IN-N-OUT?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 8/06/2002 11:16:00 ص ----- BODY:

Hazmats, fucking hazmats. that's my game. I just went around the corner to use the payphone, cause yes, I'm still over my monthly limit of daytime cellphone minutes. there's an old guy in his Acura suv blasting Krock as if to attract younger girls. I thought to myself, "hmmm I didnt know there was an Acura suv." Dynamite, if anybody knows where to get some dynamite let me know. I want to sleep with some under my bed, just to live dangerous.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 8/02/2002 12:59:00 ص ----- BODY:

000011110101110100110010101000101 100001111010111010011001010100010 010000111101011101001100101010001 101000011110101110100110010101000

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/30/2002 01:23:00 م ----- BODY:

Man, I'd never want to run into these guys in a dark ally

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/29/2002 04:34:00 م ----- BODY:

4:35 pm, I have not left the house today. Well I have but not really. I went out once at 2 to get the now usuall breakfast of poppy bagel w/cream cheese, iced coffee, and Samantha's fresh Strawberry Despirately Seeking C. $5.75 at the Flowers and Coffee shack by the 4th&9th stop. Then I went out 2 more times to use the payphone to check my voicemail and make some calls because I have used my alloted daytime cellphone minutes this month and I dont want to pay $.40 a minute and recieve another $200 cellphone bill that I cant pay. there you have it. much sleep, good eats, 1 viewing of Zoolander. time to leave

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/27/2002 03:25:00 م ----- BODY:

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for July 27 is: weird \WEERD\ (adjective) *1 : of, relating to, or caused by witchcraft or the supernatural : magical 2 : of strange or extraordinary character : odd, fantastic

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/24/2002 02:29:00 ص ----- BODY:

Have you ever seen two more lost and out of place looking fellows? Morgan and Mitchell on the train.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/23/2002 01:03:00 ص ----- BODY:

Time again for a list of search terms that have recently lead people to this page. Once again, there is no kiddie porn here. But keep checking back, you never know. olsen twins porn kiddie panties kiddie porn "why do I keep" porn email gay fashon unployment insurance gay blog olsen twins porn free bryan blogspot fuck Merrill Lynch olsen twins pool pictures The trouble Ive seen humiliated by younger brother with bigger penis nyc vendors license pictures of gay bingo unemployment califirnia Masterbating at work rebel alliance symbol kiddie sex font daily candy butthole smelling beard growing out TROUBLE GROWING FACIAL HAIR free pictures of man with the worlds biggest penis masterbating for us guys old fashon candy olsen Twins porn pictures of WTC in the night before set crooked down penis photo brother masterbating

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 7/22/2002 02:36:00 م ----- BODY:

Most incorrectly named website ever

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/21/2002 03:30:00 م ----- BODY:

Posting from the Mac Store NY. that is all for now.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/19/2002 11:41:00 ص ----- BODY:

Our favorite 4th Ave bum got a haircut. It was way past due. But then again a bum wouldnt be a bum if he didnt need a shave and a haircut. (and no I'm not talking about myself)

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 7/17/2002 08:57:00 م ----- BODY:

Jeez Mat, I just read your post from yesterday about the Godfather vs. RTP. Way to show off your knowledge of filmmaking by using a unnecessary technical term. "well actually, they could have just looked at the EDL and realized that the 1/2" needed to be re-dubbed with time code on a non drop digibeta. (snort snort)" I guess someone worked in post-production for a hot minute. Mat, you shold not talk about movies anymore, you make the rest of us look bad for not duct-taping your mouth shut.
Oh and I see that Morgan has once again replied in typical fashion. Using a lot of big words but not really saying anything. Well excuse me if I ASS-U-ME that when you call something a piece of shit, you mean that you don't like it. I obviously should have known that you meant that it was Something that you were proud of despite the fact that it was decomposing and reeking. And what's with the Italian bashing? Italians are really the only friend us Jews have. Every other race hates us.
Anyhow, here's the bottom line. Mat doesn't know shit about movies (but would like everyone to think that he does). Mitchell looks like Tom Hanks. Morgan talks too much. Brain, well he doesn't even post here anymore and me. I'm ok.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/17/2002 09:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

Today, in an effort to better understand boiling postmodern turkeys, I will check out Plato's allegory of the beach.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 7/17/2002 03:34:00 ص ----- BODY:

Are you saying that The Godfather pioneered the jump cut? What about that over rated French gangster film that stirred critical response some 10+ years prior, Breathless? Was Godard raping the Godfather? I never said that I did not like The Godfather Mike. What I did say was that The Godfather is a piece of I-talian, Dago, W.O.P. shit—every morning I squeeze out multiple pieces of shit that I am proud of having made, nevertheless, these pieces of shit reek of decomposed sustenance. The nourishment that once kept an organism healthy and full of life must certainly exit the body. There will be no smell of roses or potpourri or Christmas spices boiling on the back burner while that Turkey sizzles in the deep fryer. Speaking of turkeys, Mitchell tells me that “uh…actually see it’s kind of like this…well…you see here’s the thing uh…The Godfather isn’t so much a piece of shit as it is a yawn fest. Couldn’t they have shortened it to a nice 90 minutes; and what’s with the subtitles in part II? Didn’t they know how to dub films back then? Give me a break pal.” I can’t quite say that I agree with Mitchell on all of his points but he makes some good ones, I don’t know where they are but I’m sure we’ll find out. Back to the postmodern turkey boiling in the deep fryer…wouldn’t it be safer to bake it like most god-fearing families

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/16/2002 01:50:00 م ----- BODY:

they've got dirty old road leading up to the house pick a side and explain this infantile and mental midget review the jump cut. RTP lifts its jump cut straight out of Godfather (could've used godfather's EDL and used their own footage) and it comes late as an afterthought and seems homage-y. Add the family and gangster angles and you've got a film that says "schucks, drats, double drats" that Godfather got made first. Rosey- you couldn't resize those pics before you posted them?

I've been painting this fence for days. I wonder if the owner's getting frustrated. I am.

Maybe I should just start working with this guy. He seems to have thing down. Works for himself, makes his own hours. Low overhead, no taxes. American Dream, no?

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 7/16/2002 11:44:00 ص ----- BODY:

God, you guys are the most unhappy people I've ever heard of. Can't you watch a movie, much less a universally acclaimed movie such as The Godfather without tearing it to pieces. Look, Morgan, I know you like The Godfather. I've heard you say that you like it before. So why try and out-complain Mat by trashing such a well loved piece of cinema. Yeah, RTP wasn't too hot. I didn't think it was that bad. What was bad was getting to the theatre late and Morgan (who was there earlier) not being able to score any better seats than 3rd row/far right.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 7/16/2002 12:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

Rape the Godfather? The Godfather was just a dialogical raping of two already well raped genres, the gangster and family melodrama. Francis Ford Coppola raped both genres until only a pile of bloody scraps of cinematic flesh was left. The Godfather is just another Frankenstein’s Monster—no such “from scratch” recipe ever made its way into the filmmakers’ minds before production commenced, just a lot of rotting flesh and a spool of thread, a couple needles and eels, lots of eels, and some fetal fluids. The Road to Perdition certainly had its flaws but let’s not get all Quinn about this, your neither reactionary nor radical, pick a side and explain this infantile and mental midget review. I know that I watched the Godfather with you more than four times in less than twenty-four hours once, but hell boss, there is really no comparing the two. Really what it boils down to is that it’s time to remove that I-talian piece of dago W.O.P shit from the canon of films against which all other films are measured.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/15/2002 06:20:00 م ----- BODY:

Timely Mike, I saw Road to Perdition last night. Now I hate to be knocking things all the time, it makes me feel like Bryan Quinn, but this movie was pretty weak, if not totally fucking wack. This movie wants to rape the Godfather but cant bring itself to do it. Instead it slips it a micky and hands it a few drinks and starts talking really fast. Sam Mendes should be banned to perdition for this one. When I saw Tom Hanks I got nervous, then Paul Newman, that's good. Jennifer Jason Leigh, she's good. But alas, it was not to be. Hightlight's: previews for Punch-Drunk Love and Gangs of New York.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 7/15/2002 05:44:00 م ----- BODY:

Mike Mitchell and his father reminiscing about exploiting the proletariat.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 7/15/2002 05:29:00 م ----- BODY:

Hello, my name is Mike Mitchell and I'm getting angry with all these jokes about my weight.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/15/2002 12:41:00 م ----- BODY:

if you give me a look, I'm gonna get the book I'm gonna preach the word, I wanna preach to birds holy fuck! yahoo changed the layout of their email

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 7/15/2002 11:52:00 ص ----- BODY:

Mat Lynch is the least likely man in the world to contract HIV, with 4.7 million to 1 odds that he will get no action for the rest of his life.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/14/2002 11:42:00 ص ----- BODY:

South Africa has the world's largest population infected by HIV, with more than 4.7 million people living with the virus.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/11/2002 01:47:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/10/2002 05:20:00 م ----- BODY:

this is fucking weird, ok? this guy looks like me, no? I oughta be in pictures.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/09/2002 11:07:00 م ----- BODY:

every breath that is in your lungs is a tiny little gift to me Sometimes I used to think, "this webpage thing is great. Instead of having to tell my friends what's been going on with me, they can just read my web page and find out for themselves". But lately I seem to have fallen out of love with the virtual endeavor known as the The Trouble I've Seen, and I dont find myself thinking things like, "what am I going to post next? I've got a duty to entertain my readers." And I have to admit its sorta weird to get the emails that say, "hey Mat, how's it goin'? I was thinking about you and wondering what you've been up to so I read your webpage. So now I know what's up with you but I just thought say hey anyway." (thank you for those emails. If you've sent one, you know who you are) So its possible that I've fallen out of love with The Trouble I've Seen, but the more likely scenario, if you can believe it, is that now that I'm not working I find myself to be even more busy doing stuff and I dont find myself in front of a computer 8 hours a day. And its realy great. Summer enjoyment is in full swing. Maybe I'm just happy and I dont have alot to gripe about. I do realize that to date there's been no recount of the Wheelbarrow/Trouble I've Seen 4th of July holiday weekend roadtrip to Matt Fair's pad in Pittsburg, PA (and the More Than Music festival in Columbus, OH) and that you, the loyal reader, has really been left hanging. I apologize, maybe its because there's too mouch to tell, maybe its because there's too little. maybe I'll get into it later, I dont know. I can tell you that there was not much more than music at the More than Music festival, and that I am sorry that I missed the sold out !!!/Liars show at the Knitting Factory here in NY a coupla weeks back and that Lightning Bolt is on tour and it would be really foolish of you to miss it. Today I painted alot and made some money. Tomorrow the rug could get pulled out from under me. (but I dont think so). So for those who care, here are some things that are/have been going on with me. Thanks largely in part to Ben Ben (who is a fucking genius) I'm still not smoking (8+ weeks now!). But I'm really looking foward to starting up again in the fall. I met a girl, which I wont say much about here, except that she beat me at Mrs. Pac Man. twice. I find that really attractive. Been drinking alot of seltzer, sometimes flavored (cherry or lemon/lime) sometimes not, somtimes from glass bottles (better), sometimes from plastic (still good but not as). Been to the beach a coupla times. really nice. I'm planning on throwing a party here at my house on Sat. July 27. yes, you are invited. The poppyseed bagel with creamcheese has been a big hit with me since early may. Silly spending on fruit too. I am constantly afraid that someone's going to steal my motorcycle. Netflix is working out well. I went to Peekskill, NY one day last week for no reason in particular. It was a big thrill to see myself, and friends, in the Lightning Bolt DVD. Mo Strauss of TTIS fame is coming to NY in July. The dishes are slways still there. My grandmother's health is not so hot. I ran 1 lap around Prospect Park yesterday, thanks to my cousin BT. The Yankees are doing well, wish I could see some games on TV, but I just figured what AM radio station they're on. Listening to the White Stripes, alot. I dubbed it for you, its in the mail. I have not seen alot of movies, which sorta perplexes me, but maybe it has something to do withthe Netflix thing. And alot of people seem to want to hang out with me and I dont have the time to hang out with all of them and do all the things I want to do. Then I worry that I'm maybe neglecting someone and I feel bad. Then I think about it and I feel really good. People want to hang out with me. fuckin' A. thanks folks. and finally, just one photo from the trip

and if you have 10-15,000 or more extra dollars, I could use them. small/large bills, gold boullion, I'm not picky.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/04/2002 01:56:00 م ----- BODY:

No radio in Quinn's truck. He's going to get to hear me mouth the sounds of the White Stripes. the question at hand: do New York State unemployment insurance beneficiaries recieve benefits for holidays?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/04/2002 01:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

Sometimes the bullshit gets extremely thick and hard to wade through, so when Quinn said, "its on", I didnt ask him about the undoubtedly deft manouvres he had to pull to get out of work on Friday and make it happen. Doesnt matter tho, its a go. This weekend we and the rest of the trur patriots will be leaving the bullshit behind and heading to Columbus, OH. Dont know what to expect from this one ('cept maybe alot of money spent on records) but I'm, well, stoked.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 7/02/2002 06:03:00 م ----- BODY:

- We've secretly switched this dazed co-ed's boyfriend with this guy; Let's see if she notices...

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 7/02/2002 05:59:00 م ----- BODY:

"I don't know Mike, we've been standing here like this for quite a while now; maybe thinking just isn't our stong suit."

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 7/02/2002 05:58:00 م ----- BODY:

- A scene from the new home video series "Girls Gone Sober." The New York Times calls it a gripping, electrifying, cinematic tour de force."

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 7/01/2002 04:21:00 م ----- BODY:

Ahhh, Monday. working on my tan at the beach has got me all tuckered out. I think I'll take a nap. Being me keeps getting better and better. oh, and Rosey, its dosnt count if you kill or drug the girls before getting them to pose. Alot of people are going to be very angry at what you've done with Tara Reid. I mean, she's like, a great actress.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 7/01/2002 12:17:00 ص ----- BODY:

Glad to see that Rosen-Prinz (aka "Pony Boy"- stay gold, Rosie stay gold) hasn't fallen victim to the retro-sneaker-brand craze that has been sweeping the NY area. What are you doing there Rosie, checking her deodorant? That wasn't part of the deal! That. Wasn't. Part. of the DEALLLLLLL...

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 6/29/2002 12:58:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 6/29/2002 12:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

"Hmmm, After taking that early lead, I feel like rubbing it in Mat and Brian's face."

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 6/29/2002 12:35:00 ص ----- BODY:

Looks like Michael J. Rosen-Prinz takes an early lead in the battle of Cockintailesberg.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/27/2002 06:12:00 م ----- BODY:

new york city is hot and sticky. i loath to move at all.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/26/2002 11:47:00 م ----- BODY:

Il fait chaud. Ugly Cassaniva cancels 2 NYC shows. glad I wasnt one of the suckas that showed up expecting some music. Its mad hot and humid so I'm off to cool down with a 100mph circle around Manhattan's highways.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/25/2002 10:15:00 ص ----- BODY:

yes, that's Quinn's hand on that 7"er. Read The Wheelbarrow and see if you believe it when he says he's not gay.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/21/2002 05:42:00 م ----- BODY:

A little somethig for the patriotic fellas.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/21/2002 05:30:00 م ----- BODY:

"I wash my back with a rag on a stick."

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/21/2002 05:28:00 م ----- BODY:

-Moby is attacked by an angry fan.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/21/2002 02:43:00 م ----- BODY:

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Always remember to check the missed connections. You never know what you'll come across.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/20/2002 04:56:00 م ----- BODY:

I have DSL at home now! In your face, social life!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/20/2002 12:36:00 م ----- BODY:

No. this site is the dope shit. thanks Mike.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/18/2002 11:33:00 م ----- BODY:

this site is bad ass acid.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/17/2002 07:09:00 م ----- BODY:

And another thing! Why can't they proofread porno spam e-mails? It's not that hard. Are they written by nine year old kids? (See example below) YOU VIRTUAL SON HAS GIVEN YOU A "FREE MEMBERSHIP" If your a guy, You can appreciate the importants of getting free porn. That's why we decided to give you a free password to this teen site for father's day. THIS SPECIAL OFFER IS ONLY GOOD THROUGH THIS HOLIDAY... So don't miss this Free Holiday Special...YOUR FREE GIFT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A FATHER TO ENJOY THIS FREE OFFER.. Just follow the directions an your in..ENJOY

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/17/2002 07:02:00 م ----- BODY:

What the fuck is this Juwanna Mann crap? I ask you instead: "Juwanna" stop making dumbshit movies already?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/16/2002 10:47:00 م ----- BODY:

If you need any used sneakers, I've got the place for you. cheap.

They dont make 'em that anymore I snapped a coupla shots from the bridge. Too bad I wasnt quick enough on the trigger when me and Bryan walked past the guy with the huge cock taking a leak right there on the walkway. We strolled on wondering if we had just seen what we thought we just saw and I thought, "what kind of a derelict...?" Then he caught up with his kids.

Bryan is a postmodernist

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/14/2002 11:37:00 ص ----- BODY:

"Waste blog space". On the trouble I've seen? that's rich.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/11/2002 11:57:00 م ----- BODY:

why cant you girls play nice?

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/11/2002 07:22:00 م ----- BODY:

A FIRMER GRASP ON EACH OTHER'S COCKS

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/11/2002 01:08:00 م ----- BODY:

Did you really expect us to believe that the real Mitchelloyd would say things like: "he works the most bullshitty ass but juice job with the most fuckity shit ass hours."? Please, I know for a fact that at least two (2) of "us west coast bloggers" have a firmer grasp on the mechanics of the English language than that. Oh, and by the way, no, I did not buy a car; that takes money.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/11/2002 05:04:00 ص ----- BODY:

Bryan must have been really eager to let us all in on this not so secret, look, he posted it at 12:02 AM. Man get a life. griped Mat Lynch at 4:48 Listen fuck-heads, I'm not interested in any feedback in regards to my gay disclosure, I just could not live with it on my chest--or in my mouth--any longer, its water under the bridge now, or cum under my septum, let's just drop it, put it behind us. <<<<<<<<< I know, it's the face of a fag, don't you think I curse my mother's name everytime I sink my cum coated teeth into my pillow at night? <<<<<<<<< griped Bryan Quinn at 4:52 Hey guys, why don't you all just grab a dick and sit down. I stopped by Morgan's work last night, that guy is such a tool. He's probably the only one out of all of us(us west coast bloggers) who probably would have failed out of school anyway had he not dropped out. It doesn't suprise me in the slightest that he works the most bullshitty ass but juice job with the most fuckity shit ass hours and peanuts for pay. griped Mitchell Lloyd at 5:01 The kristallnacht-ing of my poor feelings is now complete--hey bryan, you want to blow me? we both could benefit so much from it.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/11/2002 04:40:00 ص ----- BODY:

I am the homo of the month. griped Bryan Quinn at 00:02 Don't waste blog space Bry, we know.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/10/2002 01:36:00 ص ----- BODY:

Holy fucking hell. Just back from Lightning Bolt at NorthSix. What the fuck could be better? Everything is just pansy compared to that. In less than a month Lightning Bolt will go on tour. If this band plays your city or anywhere near it and you dont go, you might as well end your life because you are too dumb to live. I mean it. C'mon Quinn, tell 'em about Lightning Bolt... Saturday was nice

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/08/2002 11:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

sorry to be a phantom administrator there rosey, but the best part of that arrow is that each time we post, as long as it isn't a novel or an unnecessarily large photo (ahem, lynch & strauss), it will point to a different one of us on the left. Genius!! Mitchell, you didn't just purchase that bitchmobile, did you?

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 6/07/2002 03:40:00 م ----- BODY:

<---- This Man is a Big Homo I propose a contest to liven up the trouble. Again, I must come out with my semi-monthly critique. This Blog sucks. How about we organize a contest: East Coast vs. West Coast. Who can get the most pictures of themselves with Beautiful girls. Perhaps Mitchell the admitted homosexual can be the judge. Morgan "I haven't been with a woman since before the dawn of time" Strauss and Mike "Big Pimpin'" Rosen-Prinz VS. Brian "I'm sour and unsatisfied" Quinn and Matt "I claim that I will have sex soon, but I provide no evidence of that happening." Lynch

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/07/2002 03:30:00 م ----- BODY:

Oh no, not Lynch's "beard" again. Beware the red scraggle. Lynch, shave that threadbare merkin off before I tell your mom.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/06/2002 09:01:00 م ----- BODY:

Or if you're tired of buying stuff and you're still stuck with that empty feeling you could try stopping masterbating just before you come 15-20 times and see how you feel then.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/06/2002 08:27:00 م ----- BODY:

Consumer capitalism says: "You're not good enough unless you buy more stuff!"

"Hello, I am a car salesman...Give me all of your money....Give me all of your money." Who am I to argue?

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/06/2002 03:06:00 م ----- BODY:

I've taken to dabbling in poetry. Read the wheelbarrow.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/06/2002 03:03:00 م ----- BODY:

The Water of My Soul A penis Swaying in the gentle breeze, like tube of cookie dough in a wind tunnel or a shrinky dink kielbasa. This water tastes like H3O, dammit. Lufthansa my darling, take me to Calgary; where the boots are galoshes splish-splashing in the chocolate-chip urine of my soul. -2002

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 6/05/2002 01:16:00 م ----- BODY:

Mat, you know that your Unemployment benfits are higher than My, Morgan or Mitchell's Take home pay for a week? My dumbass brother, Jeremy was scammed into giving up his passowrd for his AOL email address. So as a result someone sent out 500,000 or so spam emails from his account. So I couldn't get into my email account this morning until I talked to AOL and explained how dumb my brother was. They said they understood completely. You guys are so boring you make Ben Fagyard look interesting. I don't know why anyone reads this shit anymore.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/05/2002 11:06:00 ص ----- BODY:

Incidentally, I filed my first claim for unployment insurance yesterday (online without having to talk to anybody). If my claim is approved, I qualify for the maxium reward- $405 free dollars a week. Capitalism seems more like communism everyday. Now I'm off to the island of Manhattan where I have not been for 4 days.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 6/05/2002 11:02:00 ص ----- BODY:

Unemployment is hard work

I've got $50 staked on this beard growing contest. And being unemployed I cant afford to loose. This is definately my speed. Growing my facial hair for money is about as hard as I was meant to work. Is there a better way to spend a summer?

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/05/2002 01:48:00 ص ----- BODY:

What do you call the guy that hangs out with the band?

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/04/2002 09:12:00 م ----- BODY:

recent search terms of note (that have lead the unwitting to this page): Phillip Hollsworth kiddie porn olsen twins porn kiddie panties phillip hollsworth doctor mike rosen fashon sex photo chinese boy's butthole zoe Jesus, perverts. Put it back in your pants. And for the last time, we don't care how much candy you have in your van, we're not going back there, ok? Makes me wonder if maybe Dr. Mike Rosen is a pediatric proctologist, if you know what I mean. And ahhh, good old Phillip. So nice to see you again. Read this for some more info on why old Phil has his head up his ass (with his penis in his own mouth).

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 6/04/2002 03:45:00 م ----- BODY:

This weekend's final tour date of Pinback was awesome. I have to say though, the nerd quotient is rather high at Pinback shows, which makes for a very gamey, nerd sweat smelling venue. A lot of Episode II banter from the lead singer could be the cause of all of this. I had never seen a musician who would spray paint the Rebel Alliance symbol on his amp before them. Crooked Fingers was ok I guess; they stood in the middle of the crowd and played some acoustic numbers halfway through thier set. I grabbed the lead singer's ass when he wasn't looking. Malquiadora was great if you need a reason to go outside and have a cigarette, which is what I did the entire time that they played. Caveat: Emo broads do not like being stared at.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/04/2002 10:58:00 ص ----- BODY:

Homonym correction brought to you by the wheelbarrow. Not only do I speak the English, but the French un peu aussi and from the website for Code Unknown I can tell you this: Juliette Binoche has a fucking iron grip on the female lead in French cinema. I like her, but christ, is there any french movie this bitch isn't in? I stopped by the Sidewalk Cafe in the East Village (e-ville to those who knizzow) to catch a homie named Tray-dog (our housemate Brian Trainor to those who don't) break it down for the people at the monday night open mic. Some girl who couldn't sing very well beat me in pool, Tray-dog blew some minds and I nearly ruptured my bladder waiting for the goddamn f-train. Oh what a night!

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/04/2002 01:08:00 ص ----- BODY:

Man, let me tell you a thing or two, some people are fucked up. Yesterday I was driving home from work, it was around 1:30 AM and I stop at a red behind this silver Taurus. The guy in the Taurus just isn't getting the whole concept of pulling up to the intersection to activate the sensors under the tires that tell the light to change. This stupid bastard is stopped 10 feet away from the line and I'm thinking "when is this dumb bastard gonna realize the error in his stupidity?" Turns out he wasn't going to realize shit. After five minutes of waiting I decide to pull around him and make a right instead of my intended left. Then I see an ambulance behind me so I pause before making my turn. The ambulance runs through the light and stops next to a parked car where a young lady stands waiting--apparently she has been waiting the ambulance's arrival because she is quick to point back in my direction...cue the two Police cars that just so happen to arrive seconds later--I have got to get out of here. As I pull up along the right side of the static Taurus I look in to find that no one is in the car--wait, there is someone in the car, he is just slouched over dead.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/04/2002 12:08:00 ص ----- BODY:

Code Unknown;This comes out in LA on Friday, it is going to be awesome, I know it. Unfortunately there is no official English Language website, but if you speak the French then you are not only a pig but you may go here, and if you speak Portuguese, (I ask you why?) go here.

Bartleby; not entirely bad--I don't know why the theater marquis read "Crispin Glover" over the smaller movie tittle. Very quirky for those that quirk. I quirk all the time, when I'm by myself, or when I'm in a public bathroom.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/03/2002 08:49:00 م ----- BODY:

Mat, let me know when you are going to say fuck NY--you know you want to--and hey, Bryan, you can do the same. What do you guys have in NY, fucked up plumbing, sweaty balls in the summer, iced-balls in the winter, falling building in the fall? pack it in and join the collective on the west coast where it's summer all year 'round.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 6/03/2002 08:29:00 م ----- BODY:

I just wanted to give a shout out to your baby's mama...she sho' was so' when i left her at yo' do', bitch ass mothafucka.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 6/03/2002 11:18:00 ص ----- BODY:

The landlord at Trouble NY's headquarters wants to send a plumber in to cut open my bedroom ceiling so he can get at the pipes for the upstairs neighbors tub and replace them. this is trouble.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/31/2002 12:23:00 م ----- BODY:

Why do I keep getting spam e-mail like "Doctor Approved Pill Adds 3 Inches to Your Pe..." Are they trying to tell me something? Are there rumors floating around in cyberspace, between these address selling companies? Hey- I may have a tiny penis, but I have a very wide rectum, ok? Read Zoe's new blog.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/31/2002 12:09:00 ص ----- BODY:

Today I am a painter. -> -> -> 10 days till Lightning Bolt!

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/30/2002 11:50:00 ص ----- BODY:

I was going to do a little creative Photoshopping last night on what a pornographic adaptation of Harry Potter might look like, but Lynch was on the computer. Also, I wasn't sure what it would be called. Harry Porker? Harry Poker/Bonker? Hairy Pecker? Help me out. I just added the wheelbarrow to the nyc blog map. Lynch, you should put the Trouble on there too. Rosie has some amusing animation links, perhaps he will post them here. p.s.- I'm doing Lynch's old job right now, and it is not working. Seriously I think I expend more energy, both mental and physical, walking to and from the subway than I do on work here. Soon I will be starting my novel from the office.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/30/2002 01:01:00 ص ----- BODY:

Not working has not gotten old yet. In fact I filed for unemployment today to possibly buy myself some more not working time.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/29/2002 10:55:00 ص ----- BODY:

I've started a new blog, since the font on this one makes extensive rambling take up too much space that could be better used for pictures of the bloggers on this site with captions underneath suggesting homosexuality. read THE WHEELBARROW. Heck, don't just read it, bookmark it, add it to your toolbar favorites, and tell your friends. Don't worry, I will still post to the Trouble, believ me I have enough time here at Mat's old job to do both and then some.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/25/2002 07:56:00 م ----- BODY:

Fuck this place, Brooklyn, where bitches run over your parked motorcycle. I'm going back to the beach.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/24/2002 06:20:00 م ----- BODY:

just back from a coupla days in Quogue where life is beautiful. I recommend it to anybody. except I came back on Memorial Day friday and the traffic headed east was pretty bad, and so the serenity of the Hamptons is spoiled.

This guy asked me to keep Quogue a secret. Spider Man, the movie, sucks. Source and Tag Codes is pretty fuckin rocking.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/24/2002 02:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

I just thought it'd be a good time to give a shout out to your baby's mamma:

Mat's girlfriend. Hey Mat, what's up with the Nazi friendly imagery in the upper right hand corner of your girl's picture. I realized the the presence of evil after I posted it--Mat will try to chalk it up to eastern symbolism, we know better you sympathizing bastard. You're no better than the French. Whatever. Mat was quoted while walking down a "rad NY street" as saying that "She's really a pretty RAD girl and the two of us have been having a really RAD time together. I think that me being unemployed and all is really RAD, but not when it isn't." Then Mat drifted off into something about how Canadaian music is really pretty RAD and at that point the gay police jumped out from behind a primer gray Chevy Nova and shot him in the head. Amazingly, the bullet missed all the RAD parts of his brain--which was pretty RAD and he should be coming out of the coma in a couple months, RAD.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/24/2002 02:31:00 ص ----- BODY:

Falling asleep at work is a great deal like masturbating in public; it feels so good but damn it if it isn’t embarrassing when you’re caught.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/23/2002 02:44:00 م ----- BODY:

Damn. After spending most of the night last night making fun of Mo. Rosey, and subsequently Lisa for living with thier parents and not having "real" jobs, my boss told me today that I may be getting laid off. Oh well, perhaps I can finally live the hapless lifestyles of my fellows and reap the benefits of that less work, more with parent living program that's so popular today with all the 20 somethings. Funny part is, I'm kinda excited about it and I hope I really do lose my job. It would give me more time to sit in my stuidio apartment by myself and obsess about things.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/23/2002 12:36:00 ص ----- BODY:

and yellow journalism

yeah right, that's what Bryan Quinn said right before going to watch the series finale of Felicity

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/22/2002 02:36:00 ص ----- BODY:

This will be a crisp in for present day cinema, while at the momement it all seems like limp outs.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/22/2002 12:09:00 ص ----- BODY:

Out of Work Diary: Day 1. Day 1 of being out of work which was also day 2 without a cigarette was awesome. I had my breakfast the way I like it- cooked by someone else and cheap. Then I got to pick up the package that'd been waiting for me athe post office. A 7" record. After a brief meeting with this man, who knows how to use adobe illustrator, I was off to the isle of Manhattan. Where I took the train to Midtown and walked all the way east past the UN and to the river and proceeded to walk south along the rivers edge. The water looked like this

which isnt anything too great but it was cool to come upon the helipad and see a takeoff and a landing

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/21/2002 04:49:00 م ----- BODY:

MorganWoddman: "Hello, I am a gay; I love the MattLynch."

MattLynch: "Fuck You (ho)Mo; I do not like the gays. I give you the finger."

BryanQuinn: "Fuck you both. Let me tell you about New York subway rides I take. I am smarter than all other website people. Goodbye now I must go to unsatisfying office job. I am too old for this. Where is my girlfriend?

Morgin: "I am very sorry to be alive."

Rosey: "I am very sorry to be alive."

Mitchell: "I am very sorry to be alive."

MattLynch: "Ha Ha Ha!! I am not sorry to be alive; I have all of the money! You are a nosegay!"

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/21/2002 12:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

Merraim-Webster's Word of the Day for May 20 is: nosegay \NOHZ-gay\ (noun) : a small bunch of flowers : posy

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/19/2002 04:36:00 م ----- BODY:

I will henceforth be boycotting the Trouble I've Seen, as I can no longer abide the obnoxiously retarded posts of my fellows.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/18/2002 03:18:00 م ----- BODY:

"Hello, I am a fly and this is the most fright scare!!! I do not no if it is the lard in this fatty butt or the beef in my eye pain, but it is a question, ooooo! It is also an unfortune that this space fag did have such irresponsible space fag parents--did they not think that he would grow to be such a fatty devil?"

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/18/2002 12:45:00 ص ----- BODY:

Toothpaste, some toothpaste, my kingdom for some toothpaste!

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/17/2002 02:39:00 م ----- BODY:

"Help! My parents did make a mistake when they had me! I am very sorry to be alive."

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/17/2002 02:36:00 م ----- BODY:

"Hello, I am Captain Fag. Do you have a tasty for me to butt hump? I am very sorry to be alive."

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/17/2002 12:52:00 ص ----- BODY:

Hensetly I'm so used to being the last one out of the house, and now with the new schedule I forget that's its not ok to play loud music in the morning. Cab rides are fun. Usually I consider them a bit extravagant and today (thurs) I had 5. On the company dime of coarse. I'm quite tired from working long hours for hardly any money, and get this, now I'm working saturday.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/16/2002 11:53:00 ص ----- BODY:

this clown, this Lynch bastard, I'm sick as a dog, trying to sleep in, and at 8 am he's bumping this fucking retarded James Brown song that's just one bass riff like two measures long with some idiots shouting "paarty" repeating the same exact thing for like six minutes. It's the worst song I've ever heard, and thanks to Lynch's often terrible taste in music, I've heard it a lot lately. I get to listen to headphones at work. I have a cold. Maybe I'm making this up, but it seems like here in New York, at least in terms of personal experiences, the terrible is often combined with the wonderful. Case in point: Yesterday I'm on my way home from the new job, taking the A at Chambers to the F at Jay St. The A is pretty crowded, and like I said, I'm sick and I was pretty worn out from doing... well... not much but still I was tired, and feeling very sick and woozy. So I get out at Jay St. trying to transfer to the F and I can't even get on the train it's so fucking crowded. And like 3 A trains come through the station for every F, and everybody on the A is tranferring to the F, so I let a train go by and it's not getting any less crowded. That's the terrible part. Then (this is the wonderful part) on the F train, I'm jammed in next to these two Hispanic guys, a little younger than me, and they're kind of tough-looking or what have you, and one of them has been shouting "I got A.D.D.!! Mufuckas betta reconize..." on the platform, so when I'm stuck right next to them on a packed train I was like just great. But as it turns out, the kid actually does have, I'm guessing here, Tourettes or something similar, and his companion is a friend who's taking him to an appointment. And to pacify the Tourettes kid in the train, the other guy is playing the South Park soundtrack for him over headphones. So every few seconds the kid shouts "Uncle Fucker!!! ha ha, yeah.... I got...you got... shit in your mouth.. UNCLE FUCKER!!!" And his friend would occasionally try to calm him down, and he'd be like "oh, yeah, sorry...Uncle Fucker". It made my day. I wish I was less shy or whatever in public, cuz I really wanted to do the "suck my balls" in the Terrence voice that comes at the end of the song. Oh well. This woman who sits behind is Jar-Jar Binks. Swear to god, she must have done the voice-over for Episode One. Speaking of which, anyone who pays to see Episode 2 probably spends their paychecks on scratch-off lottery tickets (cuz they're an idiot).

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/16/2002 08:08:00 ص ----- BODY:

Starting my day with: James Brown Death Drug its going to be a good one tell 'em how you like it Bry...

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/16/2002 02:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

The Worlds First Salad Dressing Sex Enhancer!!!

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/16/2002 01:37:00 ص ----- BODY:

I dookied in yer hammy but Capatin poop lard.

Capatin Beef Fag no like your ham butt lardo.

What is it about old men that make my penis pop?

Stop looking at my ass and take a look at that pierced, what is that?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/16/2002 01:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

now here's some sick shit

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/15/2002 04:46:00 م ----- BODY:

Fattys! I know I complain a lot, but seriously, is it really necessary for everyone I run into in the street to tell me that I am fat? It's not like I didn't notice. Do you people think I don't have a mirror? Am I going to say: "Oh my god, I'm fat? Why didn't someone tell me about this!? Excuse me while I go run to the gym and then over to the church of Christ to repent for my gluttonous sins." Even my dad, who is not exactly looking like Ewan McGreggor himself, found a way to casually work it into conversation. Listen, I have been going to the gym and starving myself like Collista Flockhart and its not working, so fuck you. Besides, it's not like there's a photo of me on the on www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com site with the caption: "BLARG! ARE YOU MY LUNCH? (yes)"

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/15/2002 12:59:00 م ----- BODY:

jesus it's boring here

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/15/2002 11:35:00 ص ----- BODY:

So here we are... picking up the scratch to lay down the blog. Today I got up at ten after 9, made myself some huevos rancheros, caught the train at five to 10, feeling just great about my new situation. Of course then both the F and the A stalled on the tracks, I got lost on my way from the Chambers stop to here, and I realized I forgot my ID. D'oh! Well, when you show up at 10.40 and you're only ten minutes late, you know you're on to something good. My first impressions of the place: Mat's chair kind of smells like sweat and jizz, and I found a used condom under the desk next to a crumpled note with a phone number and the name "Keith" written on it. What went on here before my arrival? Perhaps I'd rather not know. And as for the Jamaican lady who Mat used to write about, my quote of the day from her yesterday was "that's your enter key?"

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/14/2002 04:57:00 م ----- BODY:

And another thing!: Matt - One size fits all (butts) Morgan - Unisex Rosey - Transgender Brian - Qubicle Monkey

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/14/2002 04:35:00 م ----- BODY:

I really hate Brentwood Every day when I go across San Vicente to fatten up at La Salsa some Mercedes Benz wielding cunt on her cell phone tries to run me over. It's not like I don't use a cross-walk. And besides, who are you talking to on that phone? It's not like you have a job and need to make business calls all day. Seriously though, for all you trust fund beef curtains out there - please, be careful. Break out the Funk and Wagnall's ladies, because you need a visit from Curtis E. Bear. Does waiting a few seconds for me to waddle out of the way really cut into your time at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf? If it happens again, I'm going to find your rich, money lending, media controlling husband and slash the tires on that E class that you borrow to go to yoga while he's in the office fucking his secretary in the ass. PS. - Word to the wise for you tight-ass yuppie broads out there: if you would just do anal, he wouldn't have to cheat on you so much. That is, unless you're over the age of 20, in which case he cheats because you're too old. Don't be mad bitches; why did you think he married you? Just be glad that you didn't marry a professional athlete. He would have killed your ass by now.

-"Show me the murder trial!"

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/13/2002 11:55:00 م ----- BODY:

My Grandmother is doing just fine, thank you. And my new job is going well. (please no jokes about the grandmother, she's got cancer for christ's sake)

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/10/2002 08:12:00 م ----- BODY:

Mike Mitchell is the biggest Beeeyotch I know.

Last night, I borrowed my friend Marco's car. While it was in my possesion, Morgan called Marco and left him a message saying that I had broke the key off in the door, and was now trying to put out the fire in the car. Morgan Strauss is actually an even bigger Bitch.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 5/10/2002 02:18:00 م ----- BODY:

Oh yeah, almost forgot: Matt - broken spoon loophole Morgan - Archyopteriux boneyard Rosey - tubular re-integrator Brain - Digipriesthood smell-ass

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/10/2002 12:32:00 ص ----- BODY:

touche

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/10/2002 12:30:00 ص ----- BODY:

Morgan Strauss on the Rosen-Prinz Problem I looked up the word Rosen-Prinz in the dictionary today. Rosen-Prinz is defined as having the characteristics of both male and female homosexuals. A Rosen-Prinz is found inhabiting the anal cavity of cud chewing livestock. A Rosen-Prinz can be bought or sold without any required vendor's license. There are no laws to date that restrict the sale of Rosen-Prinzes within the continental United States. I then looked this oddity up in the Encyclopedia. I found something remarkably interesting. There was once an ancient tribe of Rosendas (pre Babylonian), and its neighboring tribe was the Prinziastapagalapolous. The two tribes were at one point at war with each other. Both tribes however, practiced identical battle tactics which involved a great deal of flare before the battle actually commenced--there was a lot of gay-ass flexing and push-ups and sit-ups, not unlike West Hollywood tricks trying to pick up Johns. When the battle was fought however, spears and swords were discarded and replaced with more natural fighting methods, scratching and blighting, but mostly running away from one and other. When the two tribes finally saw how similar their bitch asses were, they lay down their weapons, or more accurately, left them where they had dropped them in bitch ass fright, and united in what would one day be the most inbred tribes of the history of mankind. Most historians abandoned this study circa 1865, as it was largely determined that bitch ass tricks could not be categorized under the tittle "Mankind." Certain Zoologists have picked up the paper trail in later years, categorizing them as a largely overlooked species of Ass-Monkey, a rarity in the animal kingdom, largely because of embarrassment. Post Script: The Tri-Lambs are one of the worst bands in the history of Ass-Monkey music.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/09/2002 09:41:00 م ----- BODY:

Yeah Mitchell, I'm sure your major fucking concern in life is people hitting on you too much. You should be happy that at least someone is propositioning you for sex. Mat, have you recieved ANY contributions to TTIS via paypal to date? I think we both know that the answer is no. You need to ditch that stupid link and replace it with a photograph of you sticking snickers bars up your ass.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/09/2002 01:27:00 ص ----- BODY:

The Rosen-Prinz Report
featuring the finest in cinema, literature and human social interaction

I saw Dueces Wild with Morgan a few days ago. I liked that movie the first time I saw it when it was called "Some Piece Of Shit I Wiped Off My Ass So It wouldn't Stain My Shorts". The only good scene was when they beat up the deaf kid in the beginning. Now don't all you deaf people get upset about that and start calling me with poorly pronounced threats. I wanted to tell all you deaf folks that I love you... Can you hear me on that? I think you hear me baby.

Now listen up, because I'm about to drop some flavor on that ass...

Musically I'm listening to The Trilambs who I saw on Friday over at the Roxy. The Roxy is a pretty shitty venue. I don't really like medium sized clubs like that because they always turn the speakers too high for the room size. It distorts the music for me. In any case. The Lambs are bombin'. I advise anyone who likes music or even having ears in general to pick up their CD It wasn't not funny.

I also missed my midterm and got a parking ticket a few mornings ago. It sucked. I now have little faith in myself to wake up in a timely manner unless I set 3 alarms. I have the second part of that midterm tomorrow morning, and my plan is to go to sleep very early tonight.

And I want to leave you all with one thing.
Mat- Boring
Morgan- Alien
Mitchell- Snob
Brian- Dumb

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/08/2002 09:52:00 م ----- BODY:

The ugliest, blackest crow is sitting on the General Managers car right now...shh, don't make a sound, we wouldn't want to ruin a good omen. I'm not a superstisious person, but when it comes to the guy who runs the company, I'll play ball. He's canadian too.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/08/2002 07:55:00 م ----- BODY:

I can't wait to be bored by Mat's job.... and to finally start getting paid to blog again, as it should be.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/08/2002 12:57:00 م ----- BODY:

Fuckin A. this place is boring and is making me nuts. I cant stand the motherfucking people here. 2 1/2 more days. fuck. Insound is easy but its kinda expensive, no?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/07/2002 11:02:00 ص ----- BODY:

Some people have recurring dreams. I have recurring zits. I fixed the archives, having every week of this page was getting a bit rediculous. In doing so I went back and read a bit. And I just have to say that it was totally Bryan's fault that we made that wrong turn in Yellowstone. oh and Fu-uck Yeah! Check July (17)

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/06/2002 08:04:00 م ----- BODY:

Arrangements have been made. I take over Lynch's job next tuesday. I will finally get to touch the computer that spawned "The Trouble I've Seen". This is probably one of the weirder things Lynch and I have ever done (excluding that night in San Luis Obispo with the K-Y and Morgan in his shepherd costume).

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/06/2002 05:25:00 م ----- BODY:

Ok, Quinn's right where he wants to be, alone in a room with a man with the door closed, I'm sure he'll impress.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/06/2002 04:44:00 م ----- BODY:

In just a little bit, Quinn should be showing up here to interview for my old job. Why they need to interview someone for a monkey job I dont know. Stay tuned, see how Quinn fares.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/06/2002 12:34:00 م ----- BODY:

The first day of my last week here at my job. Funny how the usual shit doesnt bother me anymore. Well maybe it does. Even tho Friday is my last day, today I'm still sitting here with nothing to do. The sky is quite blue, maybe I will go outside. Eat yet another slice of pizza. Still no Lightning Bolt tour dates on the load site.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/05/2002 08:23:00 م ----- BODY:

is blogger fucked today?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/03/2002 01:27:00 م ----- BODY:

Fuck Yeah! I just quit my job. say a prayer for me. this weekend I will try to tackle the weeds in my back yard.

I'll try to work around Brooklynhenge

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/03/2002 12:42:00 ص ----- BODY:

Mo and I were racing to see who could get the first post of the day and he beat me by 31 seconds. After we forgot about it for about 38 minutes. We were trying to get on right at midnight, but we were both distracted by poor quality chinese food.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/03/2002 12:39:00 ص ----- BODY:

bastard.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/03/2002 12:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

RESERVED!!! I just found out that the company I work for will no longer pay overtime--this is the best news in days...now when my boss asks me to stay I can really tell him to shove it up his already lubed butthole.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 5/02/2002 10:39:00 م ----- BODY:

I'm glad that my talents have finally garnered me some recognition on this piece of shit. I mean nobody reads this blog for long-winded obscure movie reviews, and nobody reads it for dull stories of walking to work, and nobody reads it for... well... pretty much nobody reads it. If all goes well, I may be sliding into a new job just as smooth as a penis into Rosie's esophagus.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/02/2002 09:21:00 م ----- BODY:

The masses have spoken

After my triumphant return to TTIS I recieved an outpouring of supportive emails from other discouraged readers.
A few snippits...

Ben Fagyard writes:i am glad you spoke up on trouble because I've even stopped reading it because its just gotten sooo boring and full of shit.

Hubit Cherkokov writes Thank you so much for finally saying what so many of us have thought for so long... Mat and Mo sure are a couple of homos... If I see either of them walking down the street I will kick each of their respective asses until their asses are so sore they can't even sit on their asses or buttram each other in their asses which is what they obviously like to do with their asses.

And the list of supporters goes on and on... It's time for someone (is it me?) to start laying down the law around here. No more stupid posts guys. I plan to deliver my retribution by letting a few ladies know about the big crush Mat has on them. And for Mo, well that's easy, after I deliver a punishing flurry of punches and/or kicks, I will punch and/or kick him some more. That should get the message across.
And finally, someone who escaped my earlier notice, Mike Mitchell. I've already humiliated Mike at the gym by outrunning him on the eliptical treadmill. That boy's suffered enough.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/02/2002 07:27:00 م ----- BODY:

Mat. You're fucking retarded

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/02/2002 03:19:00 م ----- BODY:

So last night I had my first IMing with strangers experience. The whole thing was weird. I was on there with Rosey and Mo and Rosey brings on some of his internet girlfriends. Mo and I do our best to be as crude as possible and I try to quiet the voices in my head that tell me, "you're a loser, get off the internet" "Is this what you spent $3400 on a computer for, to IM strangers?" Then Mike had the good graces to suggest that me and this one girl who is "not that fat" and likes to date cops, have lunch. I ignored that statement, as did she, then lofgged off. The whole thing was smarmy, I felt like I got sent on a blind date without knowing it. VD of the day: the one Mike's mom gave to the whole neighborhood that no doctor in Southen Califirnia recognizes.

-------- AUTHOR: Rosey DATE: 5/02/2002 12:33:00 ص ----- BODY:

The Long Overdue Rosen-Prinz Report

You guys are a bunch of fags. Boring nerdy fags. Especially Morgan. No, actually especially Mat. Especially all of you. Look at this crap. Fucking Obituaries for idiots. Stupid ass venerial diseases that no-one has to worry about coming down with because you can count on one hand the number of times all of us put together have gotten laid in the past two years. And Mo, looking back to one of your crappier posts, I'll tell you what would happen if you elbowed some guy in the face who was walking with his girlfriend. He would shake his head for about 2 seconds and then take your nose off and shove it up your ass. And if, by some bizzare stretch of the imagination, you were actually able to knock him down and/or out, his girl would just have put down her purse and kick your skinny ass.

Oh, and Mat, let me tell you something about the post-production industry. It sucks. Take it from me, I'm a vetran of this industry and it is really BAD.

The only person of quality that regularly posts on this sorry excuse for web filler is BQ. In addition to his marksman's eye and steely heart (when it comes to dispatching enemy insects) Brian posseses one of the finest literary talents one the web (with the exception of yours truly, the Rosen-Prinz of prose).

So guys, this is a wake-up call, clean it up!

My 15-year old brother Jeremy can testify to the blinding quickness of my punches and the bone-crushing force of my kicks. That is what awaits you if you continue to post the boring ass bullshit on MY WEBLOG.

You have been warned.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/02/2002 12:06:00 ص ----- BODY:

Funny Rosey...

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/01/2002 04:35:00 م ----- BODY:

Whitney R. Smith, an award-winning Pasadena architect who contributed considerably to the emergence of post-World War II modernist architecture, has died. He was 91. Ruth Handler, the entrepreneur and marketing genius who co-founded Mattel and created the Barbie doll, one of the world's most enduring and popular toys, died Saturday. Crane Jackson, an actor and producer who founded Theater Rapport, a 50-seat actors workshop and performance center in Los Angeles, has died at the age of 69. John P. Morris, 76, the feisty former Pennsylvania Teamsters leader who was ousted in 1999 for purportedly assaulting members, misusing funds and stockpiling weapons for "war," died Sunday in Philadelphia of heart disease. Retired Santa Ana Police Capt. Daniel G. McCoy, an avid airplane pilot who transported emergency medical patients to hospitals in his spare time, died Saturday of complications from brain cancer. He was 52. The family doctor had this to say, "brain cancer is a complicated thing, so it would be redundant to say that he died of complications from brain cancer...might as well say that he did from complications with complications that became complicated as more complications came to light. Dick head."

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 5/01/2002 04:25:00 م ----- BODY:

Pitchfork: ...So I guess my question is, do you think it's fair to say that a lot of indie kids are pretentious, stuck-up pricks who would rather fuck their own mothers than actually like something? [laughter] Jason: Yes! I can't figure out how i missed this one--Trail of the Dead on Trail of The Dead, Pitchfork on Trail of the Dead, Trail of the Dead on Pitchfork. Sure thing: the dead look good on pitchforks.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 5/01/2002 12:34:00 م ----- BODY:

I'm crossing my fingers. hopefully my days at Merrill Lynch are numbered. And hopefully that number is 7 (business days, not including today). I'll know later if I've got a job working for next to no money, yipee. Can you hear me say that? "Yipee" If you read last Sunday's New York Times Magazine, then you probabally read the ones about the MIT sophmore who committed suicide by setting her dorm room on fire. The article mentioned breakups with boyfriends, somewhat overbearing immigrant parents, and yoga. Dont let whoever told you that suburbanites dont have it bad lie to you. Its a rought way to come up. Setting your dorm room on fire seems like the most logical reaction. Then there's the story of the 14 year old hit man in Columbia. Aparantly theres a loophole in Columbian law which prevents minors from being tried for murder, so they make untouchable hitmen. The one young man profiled in the article got paid mostly in cocaine. Now thats living. Killing and cocaine lets you know you're alive. I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Now I'm drinking a Pepsi. It's almost as invigorating.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/30/2002 10:31:00 م ----- BODY:

HELP!!!

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 4/30/2002 06:29:00 م ----- BODY:

- News: Recording Artist Andrew W.K. takes staunch pro party advocacy.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/29/2002 03:52:00 م ----- BODY:

I saw The Cat's Meow last week, it was awesome--I saw Kissing Jessica Stein last night...just as the the protagonist flirts and fails with homosexuality, so too does the director, Charles Herman-Wurmfeld, flirt and fail with filmmaking. Luckily the duration is only 1:45, feeling like 3:00 though. Cute, sure, but I don't go to museums or go see bands play hoping that I will leave saying "ah, that was cute." The producers of this brick-o-turd must have thought, hey, we haven't done a Jewish woman flirting with Lesbianism before, it's so original, and there is no way it could be as bad as Chasing Amy right? Almost that bad. Netflix has not gotten in the way of my Silver Screenings. I just started to watch Beyond the Clouds, a Michelangelo Antonioni/Wim Wenders collaboration. If you like to watch Antonioni depicting the angst of upper midle class bored people--he does it so well--then you will not be a stranger to the tone of this one.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/29/2002 12:46:00 م ----- BODY:

Did I tell you about the box of choclates I got from Green Bay? They're steadily disappearing. I meant to see The Cat's Meow this weekend, but forgot. Netflix getting in the way of me seeing anything new. This weekend Mat's Macintosh screened the trifecta Magnolia, Julian Donkey-Boy, and The Warriors, to a delighted audience of one in Mat's bed, under Mat's covers, with Mat's head on Mat's pillows, near Mat's bedroom window, with someone else's rain falling outside.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/29/2002 03:44:00 ص ----- BODY:

Burt Reynolds Sr., a former police chief of Riviera Beach, Fla., and father of actor Burt Reynolds, died of heart failure Saturday(4-20) at his home in Jupiter Beach, Fla. He was 95. Poor Burt. DENVER -- Linda Boreman, who starred as Linda Lovelace in the 1972 pornographic film "Deep Throat" and later became an anti-pornography advocate, died Monday(4-22) of injuries she suffered in a car crash early this month. She was 53. Onsite EMT informed us that "The Shaft of the gear changer was found lodged down her throat."

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/28/2002 10:07:00 م ----- BODY:

guess who?

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/28/2002 02:42:00 م ----- BODY:

Whenever I see a cute girl walking down the street with her boyfriend I always wonder what she would do if I elbowed him in the face.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/27/2002 03:54:00 م ----- BODY:

A Damn Shame I saw the Salton Sea last night, or this morning if you're a hair splitter, it it a great example of how hard it is to end a really good story. It's to bad though, the film was awesome, kind of a Taxi Driver meets Count of Monte Cristo meets Kiss Me Deadly. The film is totally Noir if you're into that kind of thing, but with a post-Hayes office ending--still suffers from audience approval. I had received a company email regarding the film, urging the employees of riot to check out the work that the graphics department had done--REMOVING VINCENT D’ONOFRIO'S FUCKING NOSE--I thought to myself, that'll work...luckily my sarcasm was right, it did work, it was awesome (in a mat lynch tone). The film definitely had it's moments, D’Onofrio is awesome, Val Kilmer, not as good as he was in Tombstone and probably will never be that good ever again but hey, chalk that up to good T.B. makeup and costume, a little Latin lesson with a twist of southern twang...nobody could go wrong. Adam Goldberg—the token Jewish soldier in that God forsaken Spielberg film and the Air Drummer from the backseat of Dazed and Confused--does what he does best, look funny. Luis Guzman, though his role is brief, definitely shines through the greater part of the film more then anyone else, this guy is unstoppable. Guzman is steels the show, playing what he plays best, the sinister ambiguous Mexican/South American. Quick, quick, we need a sinister looking Latino--Luis Guzman ENTER STAGE LEFT. Really, he is remarkable, the word BITCH sounds most threatening when Guzman gets his tongue around it and warps it into a BEETS. It is sad about the ending, but hey, even 4 directors, count'em, 4 directors couldn't hold Gone With the Wind together. Has anyone tried to watch that film, it's a joke. Wake up, the South lost, nobody wants to watch a movie about a bunch of crazy southerners that they all know are going to loose, and then toss into the mix that all the blacks in the film were slaves, but happy slaves. The Salton Sea falls apart. It is as if they got to the end of editing and were like 'hey, what's going on here, did you put some E in my coffee?' 'Uh, not sere, just a little mescaline.' 'Fine, fine, let's finish this thing. Where are We?' A shame, at least back in the classical noir era the protagonist was inevitably punished, whether by jail, death or insanity--sounds familiar—now’a’days the people will not stand for dark ends of tunnels. Be it the fact that you can find virtually any type of porn on the internet, increasing gas prices, the current employment crisis, or whatever, apparently the people want to be treated like little children. Well that is how the end of the Salton Sea treats you, and if you don't want to be treated like that then walk out after the only big shoot out and SHOOT UP of the film.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/26/2002 04:15:00 م ----- BODY:

(I put off blogging about this most of the day) But I had to... Boxer shorts are boxer shorts, no? really there should be no difference betewwn the $12.50-15 Banana Republic ones and the 3 for $10 Hanes ones. But there is. The cheap ones have this problem thats really annoying- the damn front flap always develops this permanent stuck-open wrinkle thats always got me hanging out. Annonying and uncomfortable. I'm walking around and from anyones else's viewpoint is wrong, but something is seriously awry, let me tell you. Now I've told you. Its Trouble

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/26/2002 01:17:00 م ----- BODY:

What? First Aaliyah now Left Eye. My world is crumbling.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/25/2002 01:36:00 م ----- BODY:

That's the second time I changed the bottle on the water cooler this week.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/24/2002 06:31:00 م ----- BODY:

hey... what's wrong with wearing a tweed jacket over a checkered shirt with a striped tie?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/24/2002 02:43:00 م ----- BODY:

I just came from the bathroom. Some guy was taking a leak. I was taking a leak. Some guy was shitting. One guy was at the sink and suddenly he exclaimed, "Shit!". I thought that was fitting, given the setting. that and Bryan Quinn just showed up for an interview in my building wearing an emsemble that he must have found on the floor of his bedroom and put on on the dark. But he's a smart guy, I think he'll get the job.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/23/2002 12:02:00 ص ----- BODY:

Last names of people at my office who must have difficult childhoods (because kids can be so cruel): * Piscz (piss) * Yelpo (Alpo) * Dempster (Dumpster) I wish I could have known them back then. So YEAH, we've been getting some pretty creepy search terms leading to the blog, notably "virtual kiddie porn" (undoubtedly due to the Olsen twins panties spread - god bless photoshop). At first I was appalled and dismayed, but then my pioneering American spirit took over and I got a little bit of entrepreneurial inspiration (not to mention a little horny- whoops), and so now, in addition to my contributions to the Trouble, I will be offering these premium sites for low monthly fees (discreetly billed to the offshore credit card of your choice): KinderSluts.com GayPatrols.com motto: "third warning... You're Reported!" (as a pedophile to all your neighbors, d'oh) TheBonerBunch.com enjoy, creepy web-surfing strangers. P.S.- who the fuck is Phillip Hollsworth? Well whoever he is, now that we've mentioned his name like eight times, whoever is looking for him so hard is going to hit this page a lot more often. If this person is you, spill. Who is this mystery man? Does he have wispy blond curls? Does he wear tortoiseshell spectacles with a tweed jacket over his spindly frame? Look. Some guy with the same name as me has a blog. From what I can tell, he seems like a tool. Tell him to stop besmirching my cool name with all this technological literacy. Not even one post about cocks.... what a loser.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/22/2002 03:05:00 م ----- BODY:

and its time again for search terms that will lead you to this page (they're becoming disturbing) virtual kiddie porn Phillip Hollsworth virtual kiddie "virtual kiddie porn" "his cock was huge" Phillip Hollsworth add n to x - metal fingers in my body video Exxon and Mobil gas buyers nextel helmets pictures of sexually transmitted tongues dont purchase ANY gasoline from the two phillip hollsworth "Virtual Kiddie Porn" macintosh yatta ("boy chained to") "His cock was huge" nextel fuck you Santa Monica "massage parlor" Bryan Quinn blog LOVE HOLIDAYS AND SUMMER TRAVELERS his cock was huge

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/22/2002 11:50:00 ص ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/20/2002 09:51:00 م ----- BODY:

It didnt hurt that bad, I swear!

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/20/2002 01:49:00 م ----- BODY:

YOUR MOM'S LIPS ARE TOUCHING MY BALLS, AND MAN SHE NEEDS SOME BLISTEX.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/20/2002 01:08:00 م ----- BODY:

Bryan Quinn--Just a Piece of that Big, Big Pie... Quinn went on to tell me they strictly target the elderly . " They are easy prey because first off they buy toys that I do not even have . I take pictures of toys that I see kids with here at the park . I take pictures of toys at Wal-Mart , and advertise them on ebay . " Quinn also went on to tell me how old people have so little computer knowledge that even if they complain people just say 'oh they're old, they must be mistaken.' " In this comprehensive interview with The Daily News, Quinn shares some secrets about the world of freebasing, as well as some recipes gathered while on the road in both America and abroad. TDN: What is it you like so much about crack? Q: Crack cocaine, it's fantastic! My favorite Kryptonite hit of the day is the morning wake-up, that first blast off the crack pipe. It really puts a spring into my step. Everything is better with crack. I smoke P-dogs at brunch, Regular "P" in the afternoons, and Coco Rocks after dinner with a nice sherry. A Coco Rock, for those not in the in-crowd, is dark brown crack made by adding chocolate pudding during production. The police caught Bryan Quinn later in the afternoon laughing hysterically at their arrest in the middle of an alley. We aren't quite sure what to make of it but one thing's for sure, Bryan Quinn is without a doubt, a Kentucky fried flaming Homosexual.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/20/2002 01:07:00 م ----- BODY:

hello...I'm a Jew.

hello...I hang out with the band.

hello...I masturbate on your desk.

hello...Matt Lathario loves to talk in 3rd person.

hello...there is a production company called Tool of North America, I started it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/20/2002 10:09:00 ص ----- BODY:

Nice. Remember the huge pothole in front of my house? Well, they've had the heavy trucks outside trying to fix it for like the last 2 hours. Dont they know its Saturday and I sleep late on Saturday? fuckers.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/19/2002 09:05:00 م ----- BODY:

Bryan Quinn is getting some publicity of late, shitty, but press nonetheless. So is Mat.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/19/2002 12:57:00 م ----- BODY:

If you go to Yankee stadium and sit in the bleechers you will encounter passive-aggressive closet homophobes who like to shout to declare their ignorance. Some of it is funny, some of it is just sad. That and you'll get to lay eyes on the fruit of Taiwan and Bengledesh's labor: The Abercrombie and Fitch spring line.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/18/2002 12:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

this is what it was (and is) as hot as in NYC today. I'm getting a window AC. Fuck it. Apparently the Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, have turned 18. Either that or the Trouble is taking advantage of the "virtual kiddie porn" law being overturned today. Here is the new movie starring the lovable pair.

The tagline is "Everyone Has a Pair..." Spencer is no longer for hire.

19??-2002. R.I.P. , good friend.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/17/2002 11:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

If your coming down our block, keep an eye out for the car swallowing pothole

the hole is so big that the Mexican kids from nextdoor went in there and used it as a playground.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/16/2002 12:02:00 م ----- BODY:

Our apartment smells. I think maybe its becuse the fresh air comes in and flows over the trash heap

and carries the smell throughout the apartment. That and cigarettes. that and I dont know what we're doing wrong but, the feds are on to us.

and they're staking us out. Only in Brooklyn, to be nondescript they use a van like this one instead of the clean, white "Joe's Carpet Cleaning" van you'll see on suburban stakeouts.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/15/2002 01:46:00 م ----- BODY:

April 15, 2002 Just back from mailing my taxes. Very boring, I know, but I thought I was going to owe. But now I'm done and I think I did everything legally and the governemnt owes me $91.51. and Its fuckin nice out there, I've been waiting for this.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/14/2002 11:09:00 م ----- BODY:

Mommy, is that bird sleeping?

This is the gravestone store down the street from our house. I ask you, is this a convincing advertisement? Do the owners of this cheery little shop stop to consider the fact that grammar and spelling might be very important to their customers before they hire their illiterate nephew to tag the wall over the store? Frankly, I'd be a little hesitant before commissioning these people to produce my loved one's final label. I can see my epitaph now: Here Lie's Bryan Quinn He was Hour Good Friend Its a Shame Hes Gone Cherish You're Loved Ones While Their Here ... and so forth Check this out, it's the Add N to X site. when you get there, go to the "Archives" link and watch the "Metal Fingers in My Body" video, it's very entertaining. I discovered this link thanks to your friend and Rosey's, roundthingsroll- another brooklyn blogger who got me to visit his site by a little guerrilla marketing scheme (he stuck his link on my ie Toolbar Faves when I wasn't looking - cocksucker). Can't say much for the blog, but the links are worth following.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/12/2002 04:33:00 م ----- BODY:

The following is from a Leroy Foreman--A man who does not think that his pockets should hurt from his own contribution to the earths demise. I hear we are going to hit close to $3.00 a gallon by the summer. Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action. Phillip Hollsworth, offered this good idea: This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain Day" campaign that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read it and join with us! By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $1.97 for regular unleaded in my town in California. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50- $1.75,we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace....not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocket book that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a Price War. Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do!! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!! I am sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) ... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!! Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all. (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... well, let's face it, you just aren't a mathematician. But I am... so trust me on this one.) How long would all that take? If each of us sends this email out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you? Acting together we can make a difference.If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK. YOU KNOW THEY LOVE HOLIDAYS AND SUMMER TRAVELERS. Regards, Leroy Foreman >> Well Mr. Foreman, if I had your email address I would send this to you, instead I will bother fellow bloggers with this wack ass response. 1 - I think you're an ass. 2 - I think that asses like you should be hunted down and made to drink gasoline by the gallon. 3 - The green in your pocket book is more important to you then the protection of the green trees that your Robot fuckwad grandchildren will one day build tree houses in. a) This is if they have not already been corrupted by your financial agenda--who knows, maybe they will see the monetary value in cutting the trees down to sell the wood to yuppie tourists to your hick town for firewood. 4 - Everyone knows what a chain letter is asshole--did they not know what a chain letter was in your backwoods farm town before you told them. a) Hey why don't you try selling your neighbor your new invention, the light bulb. 5 - It's not that I don't like paying for gas, I just understand that it is my punishment for relying on it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/12/2002 11:12:00 ص ----- BODY:

Ok I was wrong, its not the New Jersey state lottery, The Big Game, available in New Jersey. I'm in for $2. (the prize is only $118 million if you choose to take all the cash at once) I dont think I need to go here yet. Remember that nice round man at my work I told you about? He's very friendly. The floor shakes when he walks. "Mama, dont let your baby grow up to be a mule boy"

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/11/2002 07:42:00 م ----- BODY:

At my job, we get the summonses when employees sue the company (and a lot do - I hope they all win). We send the claims to an insurance company, and catalogue the claim on an Excel worksheet. On the worksheet, there's a field for a brief description of the accident. Here are some of the more amusing entries - Mothers, don't let your babies grow up to be steamfitters. Sidney was holding nail for Luis. Luis swung his hammer and missed th& (it runs out of space here, but I think we can all see where it's headed) Claimant sitting by condo pool, was struck by flying metal object Bricks fell on claimant Employee fell off planking into dumpster Claimant fell 40' down elevator shaft while cleaning & leaning over Claimant was struck by a hot bucket of tar Puncture, right eye Fell thru hole in floor -Ouch.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/11/2002 11:37:00 ص ----- BODY:

Yesterday on the way home I ran into a girl I know on a the train. She told me her best friend pracitced Wicca. me: Wicca? her: You know, witchcraft and stuff me: (smirk) her: dont laugh me: I'm not laughing

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/10/2002 10:44:00 ص ----- BODY:

The reason for my flat tire made itself known last night.

I'm screwed.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/09/2002 01:19:00 م ----- BODY:

Motorcycle Insurance: gotten. Albeit lowly liability coverage. Dont steal my bike before I find a cheap upgrade. Fuckers I too need to quit my job. maybe soon. Definately by July 27th. Definately. Hold me to it. Incidentally, in case you were not informed, it not ok to change your baby's diaper on the subway train. At least one woman on a Queens-Manhattan V train was not.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/09/2002 12:03:00 ص ----- BODY:

I must find the courage to quit my job. Never is there a happy moment on a Sunday night as my head rests on my pillow. I think I am getting TMJ Syndrome

And leave it up to KY, a state named after a vaginal complement, to perscribe this as a corrective treatment:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/08/2002 11:54:00 م ----- BODY:

Oh shit, I think I know this guy!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/07/2002 01:05:00 م ----- BODY:

Queens: a strange foreign land... Which way would you go?

after Queens we went to Hell's Kitchen to buy a whole skinless pighead. But the sunglasses didnt make us chuckle, they just changed our minds. then, suddenly, Bryan didnt feel so good.

forget the art, if you've never been to jail and want to know what its like the shit there you can go here. That's what Bryan did. In the end he couldnt pull it off, something about modesty but the art is good. Lastly, we all know that in this age of uncertainty its difficult to be sure of anything. But (and I like plenty of bad music) I can tell you that Erase Errata is the worst band, ever.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/05/2002 11:33:00 ص ----- BODY:

First, the good news: Your domain has been renewed for 1 year(s) without error. The new expiration date is now : 2003-05-04 11:43:29 that's right, www.thetroubleiveseen.com has been renewed. I really do think that 2002 will see The Trouble I've Seen move to www.thetroubleiveseen.com The bad news. The bad news isnt really so bad, it kinda falls more into the annoyance catagory and allowed me to see a part of Brooklyn I'd not seen before: the motorcycle insurance purchase is turning into a goose chase. If you take the M or the W trains to 50th st in Brooklyn, you will pass some pretty cool stations, 9th ave, Fort Hamilton Pkwy, and arrive in a poorly graffittied but nice looking neighborhood (Borough Park?) inhabited by people of mixed ethnicities, Latin, Asian, White, Orthodox Jews. The train there is elevated and the insurance agency @ 5022 New Utrecht Ave does write motorcycle policies, despite what they say on the 800 number. I was really hoping today would be the day. Insurance in the morning, DMV/license plates during lunch, air in the tire after work, riding around town before night fell. But alas, it was not to be. Next stop in the search for insurance: Long Island City, Queens. What wonders will it bring?

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/04/2002 02:38:00 م ----- BODY:

I can understand CA lotteries, you've got over 10 million people who buy tickets--or ten million who have the option to buy tickets. NJians must be pretty stupid if they think that they're going to be 1 out of 100 to pick the winning ticket. I tell you, some people are just plain dumb, plum dumb. Look at Bruce Springsteen, the Boss, didn't you know what you were signing?

THE PEOPLE OF NJ WERE GIVEN 1 FREE MEAL WITH THE PURCHASE OF 1 LOTTERY TICKET.

Two residents, Jacob Jackson and Maury Maurice, long time companions and suporters of the the Christian Right, said, that with the money, they would for once and for all put an end to that damn elephant problem. "It's like this folks, elephants are cute and funny looking, but it was kind of a half baked plan in the first place," said Maury on Wednesday, the 3rd of April.

"If I was not homeless I would do something about the elephants, but there shit is so warm," said The governor of NJ.

Other residents feel that it is not the elephant problem that has grown out of hand, it is the monkey problem. The Governor tells us that "hey, the elephants don't toss their shit at you, and they don't eat their shit either, or bite you."

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/04/2002 12:17:00 م ----- BODY:

The NJ state lottery stands at $115 Million. I wonder whathe lines are like in the ghettos of towns of Newark, New Brunswick, and Camden. VD of the day:Chancroid Chancroid is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) characterized by painful ulcers and painful regional lymphadenopathy. While the disease is uncommon in industrialized nations, it is a frequent cause of genital ulcer disease in developing countries. In some areas of the US, chancroid is endemic, and it is known to occur in discrete outbreaks.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/03/2002 02:09:00 م ----- BODY:

really my favorite thing about this page is the search terms that lead to it. thank you google. some recents: biggest enormous cock world free pics of women taking shits assfuck "trouble I´ve seen" small dick pictures big guys with small penises R-KELLY PORNO PICS shakira ass picture butt autolux music advice for guys with big penises autolux review shakira wank international executive guild registry

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/03/2002 02:01:00 م ----- BODY:

Grumble

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/03/2002 12:03:00 ص ----- BODY:

Welcome to The Trouble I've Seen's Virtual Art Gallery. we have one painting on display, a Bryan Quinn original. This is a new acquisition of the Trouble Gallery, just donated by the Quinn family Foundation for the Arts. Quinn is an up-and -coming young artist, virtually unknown, as this is his first work for exhibition.

Quinn relates the story behind this work: "I was bored one Saturday, so I threw this gay piece of shit together in about an hour before I got bored. The meaning is open to interpretation, since it pretty much has none. The text in the painting comes from the fact that Mat's piece of shit CD player that I bought for him from some dead crackhead bitch after she croaked next door to my friend's neighbor broke right as I was starting the thing. Anyway, I just played whatever record happened to be on the turntable at the time, which happened to be Steely Dan. It didn't fit my mood in any way whatsoever, but I was reminded of some review of the Dan saying their band was a bunch of hired guns (studio session players), and i was like what the fucking fuck. Plus I was planning to dedicate the work to Mat, and since we're both temps, or "hired guns" of the office, it seemed appropriate. There's other ways to read it though, especially since Mat thought it sucked and didn't want it when I offered it to him. Man, that crackhead bitch had a lot of junk. I got a dresser off that dead bitch for like ten bucks." Quinn has quickly been hailed as an important new talent and was recently commisioned by The Trouble I've Seen's Mat Lynch to do a series of paintings commemorating the website's two-year anniversary. Quinn had this comment: "Yeah, it's kind of weird that Lynch would pick me for such an important commission, especially when he didn't even like my only painting. I guess it helps to be sleeping with the guy."

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/03/2002 12:02:00 ص ----- BODY:

This is a work of (non)fiction. If anyone reads this thing, if any young, hot-to-trot ladies that is, what could be so wrong with dropping a little e-line in the e-mailbox and letting the disgruntled e-postman deliver it to our own e-mailbox. Look, the facts are in, the scores are tallied, look to the left for crying out loud--we used to be four, now we are five--five by 10 hard inches of trouble that is. Look at those mugs, are those the faces of people that would pose any possible bodily harm--maybe the top 4--or mental harm--ah, it is true, we’ve made them cry, but hey, that’s to be expected, you asked for it. Why wouldn't you want to get into an e-relationship with us(subtracting Quinn from the mix because he has a lovely better half and would never dream of disrupting that environment). Rosey and I might go to J-Date if your not careful and if Mitchell Lloyd is about to be reunited with his love ArielMNOP, and Mat, well Mat just killed the 3rd girl to ever ride his "Duc." They were not even moving. His neighbor just wanted to see what it was like to sit on the back of that beautiful metal steed that Mat can't ride. As she got on he warmed the pony up with a few quick twists of the throttle. Running back into his apartment for his CKamels that he had forgotten, Mat heard an awful crash. Mat had no conceptualization skills to prepare himself for the events to come. Mat could not have realized that an idyllic moment such as that could turn into such a painful moment like the one that would soon present itself to be a real life nightmare. Exiting his apartment building, Mat realized that the crash was a cruel swat from god. That poor girl was crushed by a piano that was being hoisted out of a window by a drunken musician with a bad case of writer’s block. More tragically, the Duc won't ever get to see the summer, oh that beautiful summer that Mat longed for, that Mat imagined would hold strong for 3 solid months so he and his new love, the Duc, could grow closer than Romeo or Cyrano could ever imagine. Across the 4000 thousand plus miles of beautiful American countryside, five young men live, dynamically opposed to one and other, but yet so richly rooted in unity. 3 of these men live in the beautiful Southland of California, known and loved by billions for its Mediterranean climate. The 2 others live in NY, known for its falling buildings. But that really is not fair, we here in LA County have experienced similar tragedies. Take the St. Francis Damn disaster--the fucker crumbled at midnight, coincidence, I think not. Take the great earthquakes that our southern flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. Although all this East Coast West Coast bullshit clouds our collective vision of snatch and amphetamine, we choose to put it beneath us and rise to the occasion, to rejoice, dance, sing, cheer and ring in the new. ‘Tis America that we want. Live free or die. Die poor or chug cock, and in the end you'll know that the trouble I've seen and the trouble you've seen are 2 completely different things, entirely independent of one and other, for you are Bitches Perpetuales, destined to run amuck in the hour glass that is your bitch-ass mind. I just started to get back into Bob Dylan. That guy is kin of a savant or something, I mean he has to be retarded, but he’s a genius, a genius that really, really wanted to be Woody Guthrie. Back to the 5 deadly sins that are the Trouble at hand, go ahead, write us, see if we care, we’ll just block your address in our mail accounts—fuckers. The above was not intended to represent the entire collective thought pool that makes up the superior hegemony over the entire land of blog…the above was only 1/5 of that collective…fuckers.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/02/2002 12:15:00 م ----- BODY:

The best Diamondback article, EVER. So by now you may have guessed that The Trouble I've Seen did not end yesterday, that my report that it would was merely a (not)elaborate hoax perpatrated by myself. So relax. The Trouble I've Seen is not going anywhere. The Trouble I've Seen will be with us as long as humans remain human, as long as people continue on the wild goose chase that is the search for meaning, until everyone learns to laugh at themselves, as long as I'm at this soul sucking office job, until I suppose, the cows come home.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 4/02/2002 01:13:00 ص ----- BODY:

YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was a Terp for a total of about a year and a half (combined total of credits) before defecting to the Banana Slugs... So not only am I a little bit happy to see MD be the champs, but hopefully my old dream of seeing College Park, MD burn down may finally come true. This just in from the AP wire: Israel, Palestine Declare "April Fool's!" on International Community Tuesday April 2, 00:00:10 EST Jerusalem, Israel An exuberant Ariel Sharon and a quietly chuckling Yassir Arafat barely managed to contain their hysterical laughter this morning as they revealed their elaborate April Fool's prank of a full-scale Israeli invasion in Palestine on the rest of the world. "Oh man..... Oh man, we REALLY had you going!" a red-faced Sharon announced, pausing to defend himself from a punch in the shoulder by Arafat. "Seriously" he struggled to compose himself, regaining momentarily the stately pose that has characterized his moderate right-wing administration, "This past day, history has been made. Never before has gross excessive force against civilians been so effectively employed to TOTALLY GET YOU GUYS GOING! I think-" he turned to glance at advisers before continuing, "Is Powell already on his way here? Oh, MAN!" As Sharon again began to lose his composure, Arafat playfully shoved him and took control of the microphone. "Truly," he began, choking back sobs of laughter, "Truly, this is a watershed event in the ancient Middle Eastern tradition of jokestamentalism. I admit, many thought that the repeated suicide bombings were taking the joke too far, but obviously all the sacrifices were worth it." He turned to look at Sharon as he snorted, "Did you see Bush backtracking like a lost hiker in the Golan desert? What a rube!" The stage at the joint press conference then degenerated into a maelstrom of fake rib-jabs and high-fives before being called to an end by Israel's Press Minister. In recognition of the historic joke, an impressed Pakistani cabinet decided that for the entire month of march, the nation will be called "Prankistan" ----------------------------------------------------

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 4/01/2002 02:51:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 4/01/2002 11:05:00 ص ----- BODY:

Go Terps! West st. has reopened to traffic, strange to see. But good. Lastly today, I regret to inform you that today will the be the last day of The Trouble I've Seen. Its been an interesting year, and I'm glad I got to share it with all of you. Lately my co-authoring friends seem to have lost interest in this venture, and I just cant go it alone anymore. Unlike this very good news, I'm sure this is bad news for most of you. But dont cry, dont worry, dont stop living, I promise to one day return to the internet, and to the task of making the trouble I see known to all.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/31/2002 01:10:00 ص ----- BODY:

any NYers know who this Inkhead fella is? I like his work

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/30/2002 08:40:00 م ----- BODY:

Kids like cameras Mat likes the new 128Mb memory stick and sunny spring saturdays No trouble here.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 3/28/2002 08:47:00 م ----- BODY:

What's this, mat? In the house? I can't believe you would be such a hypocrite. Especially when you know i have evidence

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/28/2002 08:21:00 م ----- BODY:

All your base bitch.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/28/2002 04:16:00 م ----- BODY:

Mat, you'll get dry sockets, dont smoke!!!

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/28/2002 04:08:00 م ----- BODY:

It is quite interesting that you should mention the word containerize, as it is one of the fundamental principles of my job. As you all may know, I work in Shipping and Receiving. I work the swing shift and my friend works graveyard so we have a lot of time on our hands to royaly fuck with the day crew. One of the things we try to do is containerize as much elements as possible. On a good day we can containerize 20+ boxes filled to the brim with negative and tape. The guys next door hate it, so we do it even more. It's weird that the work force might be motivated by spite, funny how things work.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/28/2002 03:18:00 م ----- BODY:

my face hurts. I just paid a man I dont know $1370 to knock me out with chemicals and tear 2 teeth out of my jaw. now there is blood in my mouth and I'm not supposed ot smoke for a few days. very weak word of the day from merriam webster: containerize \kun-TAY-nuh-ryze\ (verb) 1 : to ship by containerization *2 : to pack in containers

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/28/2002 12:22:00 م ----- BODY:

TODAY'S WHAT'S HOT AND WHAT'S NOT-- What's Hot: Deleting emails from people who are not quite friends whose subject fields read: Important; Please Take This Seriously. What's Not: Emails from people who are not quite friends whose subject fields read: Please Take This Seriously. What's Hot: The fact that I fixed my computer problem by doing various system diagnoses and realizing that if I just did a simple system restore I could burn back some of the data loss to my CPU and optimize the gamma fields and network cache with a SHIFT+F8 stroke in my Restore Window, given that the problem arose within the last week—looks like it worked, bitch-ass. What's Not: The fact that no modification or adjustment could change the fact that this computer is still a Junk-Ass Gateway...Mat (spelled door mat) you will soon be usurped as this blogs technical focal point. What’s Hot: The groovy groovy graphic links to this blog’s members’ email addresses. What’s Not: The fact that no matter how hard you try Mat, nobody is ever going to email you for some of that “fuck you” bad boy fun you that offer in that picture. What’s Hot: It is a truth ladies, Mat has been known to FLIP the bird to any unsuspecting passersby—did you know that Mat has owned 2 motorcycles. "This Duc" that Mat can’t stop snapping pics of isn’t just a midlife effort to cling to his youthful side. In fact, way, way back in 2000, Mat was driving an equally cool, more Mad Max looking bike. The great thing about Mat is that the “T” is so easily replaced by the bad-ass “X” that he is trying so hard to grasp—it’s his brass ring ladies, and you’re his gold. What’s Not: I still post to this blog with bitterness and resistance. I don’t know why, I’d give you a link to the other but you’re not invited, bitch-ass.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/28/2002 02:02:00 ص ----- BODY:

So how do you justify the Indians and the white man fighting? What--did the white man put on a 2pac CD, low-ride on a horse and THEN go on a killing spree?? Oh hell no.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/28/2002 01:57:00 ص ----- BODY:

This is one of the coolest pages i've seen in like, well since like forever.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/28/2002 01:51:00 ص ----- BODY:

I just remembered that I am happy to be breathing. This came as a shock to me the other day as I woke up without that disappointment I get when I realize that my brain is still telling my body to breathe.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/27/2002 01:34:00 ص ----- BODY:

I really wanted to steer the trouble i've seen away from its recent vulgarity but there's an issue I just have to address. As you may or may not know, Bryan and I have been friends for a long time, and Bry, I think you know that whatever you do is cool with me, just so long as it makes you happy. But please for the love of god, just keep this shit out of the house, ok?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/26/2002 03:03:00 م ----- BODY:

holy shit! I just had an idea. Its not a very new one, but the thought had never crossed my mind- Grad School. "but Mat", you say, "You hate school". Yes I know, but hate work also. I'm not so sure that's a great idea, I'll have to think about it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/26/2002 11:10:00 ص ----- BODY:

Dear Candidate, You have been selected as a potential candidate for a free listing in the 2002 Edition of the International Executive Guild Registry. Please accept our congratulations for this coveted honor. As this edition is so important in view of the new millennium, the International Executive Guild Registry will be published in two different formats; the searchable CD-ROM and the Online Registry. Since inclusion can be considered recognition of your career position and professionalism, each candidate is evaluated in keeping with high standards of individual achievement. In light of this, the International Executive Guild thinks that you may make an interesting biographical subject. We look forward to your inclusion and appearance in the International Executive Guild's Registry. Best wishes for your continued success. International Executive Guild Listing Dept. Did anybody else get this email? know what it means? know what the International Executive Guild is? what do they want with me?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/25/2002 01:11:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/25/2002 11:17:00 ص ----- BODY:

You may have noticed the front page of yesterday's New York Post, touting the public to "Turn Them In" referring to Catholic priests who molest children. Bryan Quinn doesnt not agree with the Post. He's decided to take the love of cocks the Catholic Church has given him and "turn them out" as it were. Just look at the evidence.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 3/25/2002 01:32:00 ص ----- BODY:

here it is. don't tell the cops. the army's first action is questionable in ideology, more a response to current events popularized in the mainstream media, but it's just a practice run. check it out. Religion is gay.

P.S. - gay? not really. obsessed with visual representation of the cock? mmmm...... perhaps

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/24/2002 04:02:00 م ----- BODY:

So now our toilet is clean. and i took this just for the hell of it. and this because someone asked what the apartment looked like and all of it to figure a bit of JavaScript Sunday: also a good day to post search terms that lead people to this page. If you didnt see what you wanted to see, keep comin' back! women actually like small penises "mat lynch" free gay youth niggas pics "big-trouble" freddy prinz jr pics damn, it feels good to be a gangsta freddy prinz "small dick" pictures gossford park "pictures of the wtc" prime assfuck bitches link:www.hiltons.cjb.net Freddy Prinz Jr. pics

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/23/2002 11:28:00 ص ----- BODY:

keep dreamin Bry, it aint gonna happen

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 3/23/2002 12:39:00 ص ----- BODY:

here's what happens when people stop being polite.... and start getting real. how much did this setup cost? roughly 5G? obviously... it was all worth it.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/22/2002 11:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

today there's this

and then there's this

yesterday, the first day of spring, it snowed. So today its still considerably colder than you might think. Not motorcycle weather. That's right its motherfucking friday!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/21/2002 12:23:00 م ----- BODY:

OK, now I'm in trouble (maybe, maybe not). Someone from my work other than me has been hitting this page and checking the archives. Maybe having something to do with the ML link I put up yesterday? I dont think I've done anything wrong...

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/21/2002 11:56:00 ص ----- BODY:

Really way too much of my thought life is spent trying to figure out which subway stop to get off at. I live between stops. I could get off at the 4th/9th stop and walk the 5 blocks to my house or I could get off at the further away Prospect Av stop and walk the 2 blocks to my house. If I lived closer to the closer stop it would be easy, but I dont. I live closer to the further stop. So I wonder which will get me home sooner- Walking sooner from the closer stop or walking later from the further stop? If I found myself soming from further out in Brooklyn it wouldnt be a problem, because then I would live closer to the closer stop and further from the further stop- a no brainer. But that's not the case, I'm always finding myself returning home from Manhattan or closer in in Brooklyn and the case in that case is, as I have mentioned, that I live further from the closer stop and closer to the further stop. This is why I like the F train- no decisions. With the F train the case for me is much like it would be if I was on the N/R and coming from further out in Brooklyn even though I'm coming from Manhattan, I live closer to the the closer stop at 4th/9th and further from the closer further stop at Smith-9th and further from the further further stop at 7th ave. I try to ride the F train when I can. Not only because I live closer to the closer stop but because on the Broadway line, although the express from Canal to Brooklyn over the Manhattan Bridge is really great, I've got to decide if I'm goinig to get the W train and transfer for the N/R at Pacific or take the Q and transfer at DeKalb.
No doubt you can share my misery. Or maybe you're sorry you tried.
+++++

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/21/2002 12:00:00 ص ----- BODY:

Think I got it better this time

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/20/2002 12:35:00 م ----- BODY:

Really, I fucking hate this place. I want out. My boss is asking me when is a good time for me to teach what I do the the traders on the floor. They want me to teach other people to do my job. So maybe I'm on my way out. Good, it'd be the best thing for me.
Mat Lynch weather report: Not motorcycle weather.
but even if it was 75 degrees and sunny it still wouldnt be motorcycle weather for me. I came home last night to discover a flat tire on the Duc. Why does my bike have a flat tire? How did that happen? How much is it going to costme? When will I finally be on the road?
This site is bomb
I think my friends have disserted me, no one else post anymore. sob. ++++++

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/19/2002 12:50:00 ص ----- BODY:

oh and, Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for March 19 is: detoxify \dee-TAHK-suh-fye\ (verb) *1 : to remove a poison or toxin or the effect of such from 2 : to free (as a drug user) from an intoxicating or addictive substance or from dependence on it 3 : neutralize

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/19/2002 12:18:00 ص ----- BODY:

ok here's one I call it,"Mat tries his hand at final cut" starring Rosey and Mo (both of The Trouble I've Seen fame) If anybody knows good compression settings for webstreaming let me know, clearly I havent figured it out

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 3/18/2002 11:06:00 م ----- BODY:

fuming...over that? when I got off of work today, I went into the 49th st. station, and some clown with an acoustic guitar was playing and singing Dave Matthews' "Satellite" (don't ask me how I recognized it immediately)... what a fucking loser. Dressed like an Abercrombie ad no less. I wish I had had Mat's DV camera with me, you could watch a mini-movie of the most irritating and confused fordham student in the city. So I probably will start posting again... no internet at work still, but now we have the cable modem at home so I will be a dork and blog while not getting paid.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/18/2002 11:14:00 ص ----- BODY:

I'm fuming this morning is the second time in the last 8 days that I've seen someone clipping their fingernails on the subway. Utterly disgusting. What is wrong with people? Why would someone do that? Why? Gross. It goes like ths:I'm standing on the train, minding my own business, staring at the floor, or the ads and altho I've been hearing it it hasnt entered my consciousness, and then it does. That sound, the nail clipping sound, and I look up and some fat-ass woman is clipping her fucking fingernails on the subway train. Come on.

the current scene from my bedroom window Please dont steal my bike

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/17/2002 10:42:00 م ----- BODY:

a really bad picture of the bike I just bought that i cant ride. not legal rain forcasted till thurs d'oh

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/16/2002 12:46:00 ص ----- BODY:

nerdy saturday blogging from home

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/16/2002 12:01:00 ص ----- BODY:

WOW!!! I can't believe that mat ever tried to talk shit about anyone's spelling or grammar. Who the hell Is Mitchell Lloyd?

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 3/15/2002 02:20:00 م ----- BODY:

Ebonical slang phrase of the day Hello, I am toying with various ideas to rival the VD of the day section. Some may find it offensive; oh well. The phrase of the day is: "Broke-ass nigga" n. (brok-as-niga) - This describes my current financial state quite well I think. Webster's defines it as: that time during the month when your broke ass bounces checks and shit because you don't have no more money. ex. - "That broke-ass nigga ripped me off for the last time."

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 3/15/2002 02:08:00 م ----- BODY:

And another thing,....why doesn't my goddamn name come up when I post?

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 3/15/2002 01:49:00 م ----- BODY:

Wet,....Hot This movie will probably develop a cult following within a few years and then people will tell you to see it anyway, so might as well rent it now and get it out of the way. Besides, its better than the dumbshit movies that you've been watching - I "pooed" my pants I was laughing so hard. Actually, if you didn't like The State don't bother. Although, if you didn't like the state you're probably too busy raping a little girl under the big Nazi flag you have hung in your bedroom, fucker.

-------- AUTHOR: Mitchell DATE: 3/15/2002 01:16:00 م ----- BODY:

- Didn't you know? Mary Magdalene is an eL33t haXor; no web page is safe

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/15/2002 01:12:00 م ----- BODY:

Read along with me "A Farewell to Arms" As book four begins Hem's train arrives in Milan he hops off and into a cafe. He is offered a grappa, refuses, then drinks it. The barkeep knows that he is a fugitve, professes friendship and offers asylum. Hem refuses. He's pregnant Catherine Barklay on his mind and has to get to her. He goes to Stresa to meet up with her. They are delighted to see eath other but Catherine's nurse friend Fergy thinks Hem is swine for getting Catherine with child. Hem gets a room for Catherine and himself. Rows the boat while fishing with the bartender of his hotel cafe, has Martinis with the bartender at the cafe across the lake which make him feel civilized after all the grappa, but not too many since it is before noon, rows back and meets Catherine back at the room. After a little he's invited to play billard with a 94 year old count. They drink champagne and congratulate each other one how great they are and offer their best wishes to each other. Then my train got to my station.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/15/2002 11:16:00 ص ----- BODY:

couldnt get into blogger all day yesterday. so I couldnt bring you up to speed on "A Farewell to Arms" or let you know about the VD of the day (there was one yesterady, but now you'll never know what it is). Today is March 15, one month till taxes are due. I think I owe the government money. I am not sure if I am going to file or not. The Time Warner Cable guy is in our apartment as I type hooking up the cable modem. For some reason I think it is not going to work and I'm going to have to get involved in a bunch of phone calls, but maybe it will go off without hitch. I am slowly figuring out Final Cut Pro 3. The Trouble I've Seen Big things are coming. But not right now.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/13/2002 02:48:00 م ----- BODY:

this review from pitchfork yesterday is pretty good.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/13/2002 11:08:00 ص ----- BODY:

In the late late summer of '98 Bryan and I made one last stop in preparation for the cross country drive into the unknown. We walked through the doors of the College Park REI to gather all the items necessary for the trip that lay ahead. Being a gadget lover, Bryan was in all his glory among the back messaging mats and spelunking helmets, I was a bit unsure there for a while, I knew he was in possesion of probabally the most cash he had ever had, and having just come from an auto parts store spending frezy that had produced among other more necessary things, a dashboard compass/tempateure guage, fuzzy dice, and windshield sunscreen that read, "I love Jesus", there was just no telling what he might walk away from the outdoor goods store with. But in the end the item the caught his fancy most was a rain hat that I thought was a waste, I mean when was he going to wear that one? And I think even he thought was a little silly. But this morning I ate my crow as that hat kept my head dry on the walk to work.

So I'm checking out this girl on the train this morning, she's kinda cute. Then we get to Jay st and make the change from F to A and it turns out she's one of those people that push their way onto the car before the other people have gotten off. Totally unattractive, she's out.

Read along me a walk through the last hundred or so pages of Ernest Hemmingway's, "A Farewell to Arms"
When we last left our hero, the "Tenete", he had just narrowly escaped execution by Italian soldiers who thought he was a german because he spoke Italian with an accent, and was in a river holding onto a log, being sweapt by the current. Sometime later, "You do not know how long you are in a river when the current moves swiftly. It seems a long time and it may be very short", our man nears the bank, swims with all his might and grabs onto a pussy willow branch. He draws himself in and exhausted lays in up the willow bushes and rests. Later after pushing his way through the willow bushes, he walks for hours before coming to railroad tracks. Too keep out of site from Italian soldiers who will no doubt imprision if not kill him, even though he has risked his life and in fact been wounded in the course of defending Italy from the Austrains and Germans, he hides in a ditch and waits for a train. "After [he] had alomst given hoping for a train [he] saw one coming", he hopped it, cut the tarp of the top of one of the cars and ducked under. There amongst a munitions sockpile, but out of sight of the guards, he rests hungrily and awaits arrival in Milan. What a man.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/12/2002 01:17:00 م ----- BODY:

In an (non)effort to expand my vocabulary I've been recieving a word of the day from Merriam Webster The Word of the Day for March 12 is: deglutition \dee-gloo-TIH-shun or deh-gloo-TIH-shun\ (noun) : the act or process of swallowing There was going to be alot more to this entry but I got distracted trying to access my mutual funds online (seriously) and setting up the installation of our cable modem (for too much money) and applying for a job, and now I have to eat.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/11/2002 01:04:00 م ----- BODY:

still don't know excerpts from a half-remembered internal monologue I don't know when it was, sometime before sept. 11th that I made a conscious effort to try and drop cynicism. It's childish and longer works as a means of relating to the outside world. It just doesn’t serve. Since my decision, I've had varying degrees of success at overcoming cynicism, but last night's documentary "9/11" just brings it all back. First of all an introduction by the CEO of Nextel, for fucking shame you fat fuck, don't know how you sleep at night. Sponsoring that program and being straightfaced about being reverent. "The Nation's worst disaster, brought to you commercial-free by Nextel". I wonder how it all went down. It became known that this footage existed, there was a bidding war to buy it, and a bidding war to sponsor it? How much did those French guys make? I heard they donated the money. I’ve gone through a whole range of emotions on and since sept 11th, none of which have felt particularly right. Its has been and remains hard know what to think and how to feel. I guess what angers me so much about the new patriotism is that it is so knee-jerk automatic and self-righteous. There’s nothing really new about it. If there is, it’s that the american mind has become narrower. The woman at the desk next to me at work who speaks proudly of her involvement in the 1960’s civil rights movement, the other day, leaned over to me and asked in a hushed tone, “Why don’t we just drop a bomb on those people? You know just nuke ‘em and be done with it?” Appalling? I don’t know. Have you been victim to government propaganda? Have you been angered by the face of Osama bin Laden? Have you thought of pleasureful revenge? Have you been ashamed of the things you’ve thought before and since sept 11th? I have. I’ve asked myself a lot of questions that I haven’t really been able to find an answer to. What does it mean to love your country? What duty, if any, is implied by patriotism? How am I meant to feel about an unaccountable inciting media? Do I have a part in a culture I don’t necessarily agree with? Why do humans have such a hard time with humanity and dignity? Was the world changed on sept. 11th? Is my life different than it would have been had the events of sept 11th had not happened. Is it best to remember? Is it best to forget? Are we being appropriate in our treatment of the situation? Is it OK to laugh? What makes more sense, anger or compassion? Largely I’m concerned with memorial services and the fate of the site of the World Trade Center. Scheduled for today are the 2 beams of light shone unto the sky. I feel kinda funny about it. They’ve been setting up the platforms where they’re going to shine the lights from next to my building since last week. Although I wouldn’t say it looks like a celebration, it does resemble Fourth of July preparations. They were testing the purple lights as I was leaving work last Friday… I had the good fortune to be able to enjoy the world trade center for almost a full year before it was destroyed. I thought the towers were magnificent and majestic they were great to look at from up close and from a far. I enjoyed the vibrancy of the World Trade Center and the downtown area. I miss it. I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience it while I did. Now I cant wait to get out of here, and I’m not necessarily proud of that. I feel some sort of attachment to the WTC not only because I passed through it everyday to get to work, but because I was there on sept 11th standing in the shadow of Tower 1 looking up at the flames, wondering what was going to become of the people that must’ve been trapped up there, and praying for them. I’m concerned that I’ll be as uneasy with whatever's finally done with the WTC site as I have been with public responce to and media treatment of sept 11th over the last 6 months.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/11/2002 11:23:00 ص ----- BODY:

What the fuck? cnn is running sept. 11's headlines. I walk into the building this morning and Bush is on the TV and the ticker at the bottom says "44 people die in hijacked plane in Pennsylvania". I'm in disbelief and the next headline is "10:05am South Tower collapses" and I realize its not today's news.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/08/2002 03:33:00 م ----- BODY:

That's Right! Its the mutherfucking weekend!

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/07/2002 12:23:00 م ----- BODY:

___

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/07/2002 12:21:00 م ----- BODY:

Wonder why I got this from two unrelated people in the last two days? Heckling bands is fun. I got a good one off last night. Better than the time I yelled, "That's what happens when you play cheap guitars" at Isaac Brock when he couldnt get his guitar in tune.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/06/2002 11:07:00 ص ----- BODY:

There really are alot of weird folks out there

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/05/2002 11:23:00 ص ----- BODY:

Oh, and I finally found a picture of Bryan Quinn to put up here.

___

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/05/2002 11:20:00 ص ----- BODY:

In an effort to reduce the vulgarity of this page, I will omit the description of yesterday's bowel movements. In an effort to not reduce the vulgarity of this page that much, I present VD of the day: Vent Disease Rabbit Syphilis or Vent Disease is caused by a spirochete, Treponema cuniculi. This disease CANNOT be cured with topical application of any medication, even penicillin. That MAY clear up the blisters common to this disease but it will not kill the organism in the rabbit's blood stream, ONLY parental rteatment with anitbiotics will. once again- work is wack. so is no heat or hot water.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 3/01/2002 12:22:00 م ----- BODY:

VD of the day: Hepatitis B Virus The hepatitis B virus is globally distributed among humans. The various strains of HBV are quite species specific. Though HBs has been found in other primates, humans remain the principal reservoir. (1) Many individuals are affected worldwide, but the prevalence of HBV has been decreasing in developed countries, thanks to the availability of the hepatitis B vaccine, increasing knowledge of how the virus is spread as well as screening of donated blood before use. The hepatitis B virus is primarily found in the blood of infected individuals. Virus titres, as high as ten billion virions per millilitre of blood, have been reported in HBe-positive carriers. However, HBV has also been detected in other bodily fluids including urine, saliva/nasopharyngeal fluids, semen, and menstrual fluids. (2), (3) This virus has not been detected in feces, perhaps due to inactivation and degradation within the intestinal mucosa or by the bacterial flora. (4) Transmission of HBV is done most efficiently via percutaneous introduction (i.e. needlestick injury). Sexual transmission is also possible though inefficient. There are other potential routes of transmission, but their efficiency is not easily measured. Children of mothers with active HBV are also at risk of acquiring HBV. Uninfected individuals living with an HBV carrier are at greater risk of contracting HBV than those not living with a carrier. This is likely due to the fact that HBV can survive even on a dry surface for over a week. (5) However, it should be remembered that for HBV to infect, it still must gain entry into the bloodstream of an uninfected individual. ___

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/01/2002 12:03:00 ص ----- BODY:

oh yeah, fuck shit cock ass.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 3/01/2002 12:02:00 ص ----- BODY:

Today's Media Quiz -- how do you get from this:

to this:

in 3 moves or less? --email Bryan Quinn with the answer. Yatta, Yatta, QQQQQQQQ. I would love to tell you all, in depth, about how wonderful everything is, but I think anybody that knows me would think I was lying. Really, things are going fairly well. Considering the fact that my car needs a new clutch--more like my car needs a new car, and the fact that I still live at home, and the fact that I too have been seeing horrible cancerous growths when I close my eyes yet still have little intention on quitting smoking, I feel great. I still think I'm going to be fired though. This feeling often falls from view but manages still, on occasion, to creep back into sight. Yatta, Yatta, Nipon QQQQQQ.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/28/2002 01:28:00 م ----- BODY:

VD of the Day: Human papillomavirus (HPV) the most prevalent sexually transmitted infection in the world, occurring at some point in up to 75% of sexually active women (Groopman 1999). Although HPV infection is widespread, few people even know they are infected because they seldom have noticeable symptoms. For example, males with virus infecting the cells of the urethra rarely have a discharge or visible lesions on the penis. Even less well known is that nearly all cervical cancers (99.7%) are directly linked to previous infection with one or more of the oncogenic (cancer-inducing) types of HPV (Judson 1992; Walboomers et al 1999). While women, and men as well, usually are infected shortly after they become sexually active in their teens, 20s or 30s, progression to cervical cancer generally takes place over a period of 10 to 20 years. Unfortunately, some early lesions can become cancerous over a shorter time interval—within a year or two. No Smokes day 2 back to day 2. I throughly enjoyed 3 drags from a friend's American Spirit Light on tues night. I think I would enjoy an entire cigarette even more. Problem is that I'm having visions of cancerous gums, tongues, and mouths when I see people on the street smoking. Its preventing me from lighting up.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/26/2002 12:47:00 م ----- BODY:

Fuck !!! So I've had my eye on this bike for a week or two played a little phone tag with the guy this weekend, sent an email today to try and meet up with the guy, and then comes the reply: Hi Mat, I'm sorry, but the Ducati has been sold. I am doing internet advertising for Cycle Therapy (where the bike is) and someone came into the shop and bought it on Saturday. fucker, misrepresenting himself as an individual, selling his own bike. Makes me want to sell these Magnetic Fields tickets I've got for the $500 people are buying them for. My coworker was late today because he stopped to meet the guy he sold his pair to for $500. $500. I couldnt really do that, but I should get some money for them, no?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/26/2002 11:48:00 ص ----- BODY:

I was going to try to move the trouble content away from the vulgar, I swear... The Pride of Santa Monica Tokyo Message word is that Tokyo Message right there on Santa Moncia Blvd (I think) by the high school is no good. If you're really out for a good time, I mean a meaasge with a happy ending, the place to go is at 26th and Wilshire. Me, I dont know, I havent been that impressed hand jobs that I've gotten for free, I dont know about one that I've paid for. But I'll try to stay open minded. VD of the day: Later

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/25/2002 05:31:00 م ----- BODY:

It appears that my internet VD—the one that plagues me daily through its disguise of 15 new unread messages with the subject "YOUREAFAG" in my mailbox—has temporarily cleared up. Maybe my computer has been taking some electronic penicillin because surprisingly, my mailbox only contained 3 unread messages with more serious subject headers. I can’t tell yet if I like the electronic mailbox void better or if I really, truly, sincerely enjoyed the comfort of 15 unread messages daily—regardless of subject headers. Speaking of VD, hey Mat, did you tell your east coast cronies about your Tokyo Massage Parlor experience?

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/25/2002 01:37:00 م ----- BODY:

VD of the day: Vulval Vestibulitis The pain experienced by women with vulval vestibulitis is very individual. All women experience pain when pressure is applied to the vestibule such as during sexual intercourse and on the insertion of tampons. The degree of pain is variable; some women have pain, but are able to tolerate penetrative sex, for others, any pressure to the vestibule area causes symptoms of soreness and tenderness including tight clothes and even light touch to the area. Itching is not usually a feature of the condition. No smokes: Day 6

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/22/2002 01:22:00 ص ----- BODY:

"Oh, my god his cock was huge, and I was like, how do I hold this thing? You guessed it, like as if it was a submarine sandwich--one of those party sized subs--but then how do I get it into my mouth? Well I guess I start from the top and head down."

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/21/2002 09:48:00 م ----- BODY:

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/21/2002 01:26:00 م ----- BODY:

No Smokes: Day 2 so far, so good. TTIS is pleased to bring you its newest feature... VD of the day: Chlamydial Infection This infection is now the most common of all bacterial STDs, with an estimated 4 to 8 million new cases occurring each year. In both men and women, chlamydial infection may cause an abnormal genital discharge and burning with urination. In women, untreated chlamydial infection may lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, one of the most common causes of ectopic pregnancy and infertility in women. Many people with chlamydial infection, however, have few or no symptoms of infection. Once diagnosed with chlamydial infection, a person can be treated with an antibiotic.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/21/2002 01:48:00 ص ----- BODY:

.@4%^&^%$432 oh you got me, shit fuck ass.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/20/2002 12:23:00 م ----- BODY:

No Smokes: Day 1 4 hrs sleep on the plane home. Prob all 4 hours with my mouth wide open- sore throat when I woke up. Counting things is fun Number of cat shits on Morgans mothers' floor: 2 Number of cat leaks on Morgans mothers' floor: 1 Number of cat shits on Morgans mothers' floor that got cleaned up: 1 Morgan's not lying, he is a movie pirate. Wouldnt you know it, I've got friends that can turn something as innocent as Super Mario Brothers into a racial epithet.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/20/2002 02:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

Quick, you might be part of the evils. Don't let yourself fall through the cracks this time. My God'll kick your God's ass any day. Oh Jesus, GOD, No.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/19/2002 09:20:00 م ----- BODY:

Now for all of you who don't know, or don't understand, you can now ask mat lastname, for he got to see it first hand--MORGAN THE BOOTLEGGER...OH YEAH, PIRATE MORGAN. I can't talk much about it seeing that it could be taken the wrong way by certain judicial factions. All I can say is that I must have saved mat about 40 or 50 cinematic dollars. Remember, lose lips suck nice cock. Just like M-Francis.

-------- AUTHOR: bq DATE: 2/17/2002 06:36:00 م ----- BODY:

East Coast whuuuuuuut. The "Bad Boy" side of TTIS has been betrayed... one of our own has defected to the "Death Row" trouble. We'll see what happens if he ever tries to show his face in NY again. Saw Les Savy Fav (some of their set at least) at the Polish National Home on Friday night, they were alright, I guess... Openers were the Oxes (abstract noise rock-no vocals-yawn) and the Ex-Models (absolute fucking shite). what to say.. the show was ok, but uninspiring. In contrast, Clem Snide at the Bowery last night was totally inspiring. Thumbs up (mat's butt) from BQ. don't ask questions.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/16/2002 03:02:00 ص ----- BODY:

I'm in LA. I flew Jetblue. First time I ever heard a pilot give a shout out.

-------- AUTHOR: Moots Paramount DATE: 2/16/2002 12:57:00 ص ----- BODY:

75 percent of Trouble is in LA. NY aint all that.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/15/2002 02:38:00 ص ----- BODY:

Los Angeles, or Long Beach. Sure was nice, I got to see it as I waited for Rosey to pick me up at the aeroport. Just got to LA and I already got me a ride. man, you should see it. Now I'm over on the west side, Santa Monica. I think its past my bedtime.

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/13/2002 05:17:00 م ----- BODY:

From B. Quinn, Internet Exile They're keeping a tight watch over me... had to smuggle this post out of the office in my ass. Ash Wednesday What the fuck!? You thought the Muslims were crazy (you prejudiced bastard)? You should see (you do see if you're here) all the Catholics in New York walking around with black crosses painted on their foreheads. They look like Satanists... do they really think God wants them to do that? It's scary! I get shat on at work, then I get shat on at home for being unable to keep all the water from shaving in our 7"x4" sink. Well Mat, maybe the bathroom fairy came and cleaned it up, twit. I guess I'm really setting myself up with the phrase "bathroom fairy". Anyway kids, stay in college as long as you can. -end communication griped Bryan Quinn at 03:00

less than an hour till I'm out of this place for a good 6 or seven days. Off to Los Angeles to teach those fuckers what its all about... Or to just not work and feel some warmth

-------- AUTHOR: Mat DATE: 2/12/2002 11:44:00 ص ----- BODY:

The inherent arrogance in personifing the sun was really supposed to be the title of yesterdays blog entry. But I didnt post anything yesterday and by now I've forgotton what I was on about yesterday. It had something to do with when I was walking to work the sun was 'trying to break through the clouds'. But then I realized that the sun was absolutely not trying to break through the clouds, the sun was just there doing what the sun does, irrespective of how the clouds are moving and how much light is penetrating thru to the earth's surface. enough, on to bigger and better things than the sun... The Bathroom is Clean I didnt see anything happen. I came home last night and noticed that there was no longer Christmas Tree debris in the hallway, but never imagined that that the sheen could have extended itself into the (room best described as the water closet) bathroom. It was probabally an hour or so later that I stepped to the toilet and I saw, or didnt see as it were- no hair, no grime, no rings around toilet or sink. Very nice. I know not who or what is responsible for this (tho I've got my suspicions), but I thank you.

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